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Short end of the stick baby

It has been quite a while since my last post..not intentionally, baby just hasn't been co-operating. I guess he doesn't understand that I am trying to have a life outside of him, although you couldn't tell because of all the posts about him, as this one is.

Even before Liam was born, my husband and I affectionately referred to him as the "short end of the stick baby" because we knew that this one would not get the kind of undivided attention that the firstborn got. With Lucas I was super-fit and ate very healthy, I was in good shape largely because I didn't have any younglings sucking the lifeblood out of me. With Liam, well, let's just say I was less fit, and my eating habits? Well, not so healthy. So he started out at a disadvantage already. Added to that, he wasn't allowed to grow full-term but was yanked out earlier and he was very mad about that.

We never did errands with Lucas, one or other of us did errands alone. Lucas was such a screamer of a baby that we never did anything while we were with him (read laundry, dishes, cooking, grocery..NOTHING). I think Lucas first went to the grocery when he was 3 (and I'll let that sink in for a moment..imagine that!) We did take him places, we just never planned on getting anything done with him, so we'd go Target, but it was to walk around and play with toys, not to actually get anything. Liam has been going on errands with me even before I started staying home.

It's funny how it all works - the more cranky child gets more attention because he demands it, and the easier baby gets less because he doesn't. Shouldn't he be rewarded for his good behavior?

Liam plays with our neighbor's son (one month younger than he is), and sometimes the baby would bonk him. Liam would just shrug it off so maybe having a big brother who bothers him all the time is teaching him to ignore the small stuff? I think back to Lucas who was already in daycare almost 1 year at this age. He knew how to defend himself from attack using the tried and true techniques of biting, pushing and hitting.

On Liam's side of the tally sheet, he didn't have to get drastic sleep training (Ferber) and he is supposed to do everything faster than the first. So that is a plus I guess, except that that also includes watching TV at an earlier age. However, he is getting Mama full-time. Mama full-time will not help his social skills or jumpstart his learning (since Mama full-time doesn't do anything at all in that regard), but maybe Mama full-time trumps the downsides for short end of the stick baby...at least for now.

My husband and I often wonder how having an older brother tormenting him 99% of the time is shaping his young, developing mind, in ways that Lucas' never did get shaped. And the future? Who knows if we will be able to give him the kinds of choices and benefits that we are able to give Lucas.

Comments

G said…
Very funny!! And so true! Short stick in some ways but long stick in others. He's happy and laughing a lot (even at his tormenting brother when he subjects him to constant blaster fire and pretend karate moves), that's all that counts :)

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