Cancer Survivor, writing about Health and Fitness as you age

Fitness after stage III breast cancer Plank on ball in silhouette Why a fitness shoot? I am not a fitness model, nor am I ripped like one, but I wanted to do a fitness shoot for a few different reasons: 1. As a reminder of how far I have come At the 5-year anniversary of my diagnosis of stage III breast cancer, it seemed a good time to remind myself how far I have come since I went through the trauma of diagnosis and treatment. That no matter how low I felt at the time, I came through it. Not all my sisters made it and many are still struggling today (shout out to my IV-leagers - those living with stage IV,  EVERY DAY). 2. As a reminder of how much the body can do It is a moment for me to acknowledge that while there are things I still cannot do, there are things I could not do when I first started lifting weights, that I can do now and THAT is amazing to me. When I first started weight lifting maybe I could do shoulder presses with 7.5 lbs, now I can do more t...

This year marks 5-years since my cancer diagnosis and I currently show no evidence of disease. 5 is a big number in cancer years. My husband and I wanted to thank the people who supported us over the years and also to show our friends how much we appreciated them. (I assumed my family already know this!). I talked about the celebrations in my 8-month update. Thank you to all who came and all who donated to the Breast Cancer Resource Center . If you have not donated, please consider doing so now . But on to the invitations! 2 months have passed since the party, but I thought I would share a little bit about what the responses to my  invitation taught me about my friends. 1.  It's a culture thing. I think. First of all, about me. (Isn't is always?) Growing up, if we received an invitation labelled "Mr. X" or "Mrs. Y" , then the invitation was not for anyone else but them. No partner/guest or child unless explicitly stated. If children wer...

I had a bilateral mastectomy.    Pink Shoelaces. See p.s. for the note about them.   It was traumatic. I have not written a whole lot about how emotional the cancer journey has been for me, I tend to keep that kind of thing under wraps. In fact, this is what I wrote 5 years ago Week 21 - Surgery . I don't have any pictures of my scars or the tubes or anything but there are some memories and feelings that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I had steeled myself on the first visit to the oncologist, so even "Stage III" did not make me break down. I took it like a woman. I didn't breakdown when my hair started to fall out or when I stared back at my bald self with no eyebrows nor eyelashes. I didn't collapse under the weight of the chemo and what it did to me, but I'll tell you what broke me: The first time I unwrapped those bandages and looked at myself, and looked at the scars and the hollowed out spaces in my chest and the draini...

Although there has been a bit of turmoil in my life the last few months, I wanted to give a quick update on my list of 50 things. My list of 50 has been derailed somewhat, and I expect to take the next few weeks to settle back down to my routine. Even so, I still do have an update. #27 on my list of 50 is "Open Kimono". What that really means is that while (I think), I am honest in my relationships, for sure there are some things I have chosen not to share. Now I've decided, well, maybe I should let my friends and family see and know a bit more about me. Hopefully you have already seen that in the posts that I've done, and in my social media presence as @AustinTrini . While I have resisted liking Facebook pages, because my FB page is me, I am loosening up on that too. Some of my blog posts include serious topics like issues of Race , my health like Chemo brain , and my latest trials   as well as what some may consider frivolous, like Strike Back and cussing...

Is "chemobrain" real? Yes, yes it is. And the research? Well, there's the thing. But first, what is chemobrain? Cancer patients who have had chemotherapy often report mental fog, inability to think, difficulty focusing and generally increased forgetfulness - cognitive impairment. For a long time, doctors treated patients' claims about chemobrain as a temporary thing, brought on by the stress of cancer diagnosis and treatment. Now, there is growing recognition that the toxicity of chemo drugs may actually cause damage to the brain (of course survivors have known all along we were not crazy). And I'm only now blogging about this? I've taken you into the infusion room , and showed my baldness , but there is a reason I have not blogged about chemobrain before in these past 5 years - I continued to work. I could not have said to my colleagues "Hold on, my brain's not working right. Give me a moment or two or twelve."  Brain on chemo ...

This past summer I celebrated my 4th cancerversary since I was diagnosed. I did not have a clear idea what to write about so I didn't post, but this past weekend I was clearing out some old papers and got my idea. As usual, if you want to know the story, let me take you back to  June of 2011. I digress, back to my old papers. It is surprising to me that even after 4 years, just how emotional I got. As I was looking through my appointment log, information about treatment choices, books and pamphlets about eating well during cancer treatment,  Cancer 101, Preventing Lymphedema...and more, the emotions just washed over me. Here is my appointment book from the first weeks. At the end of the day, I've had 4 years, and I am working on having more joy in my life and bringing joy to others. I wanted to end on a poem printed on the cover of the Patient Handbook, entitled "What Cancer Cannot Do": What Cancer Cannot Do Cancer is so limited... It cannot crippl...

Yes, this is the kind of question you can only hear when breast cancer survivors meet and talk, in this case, about reconstruction. I recently went to my support group luncheon again, after having missed quite a few because I was too busy at work. The Pink Ribbon Cowgirls (PRC) is a support group organized by the Breast Cancer Resource Center . We share our histories and even though some are in different stages of diagnosis, treatment or recovery, and some stories may be hard to hear, I always feel blessed to be part of that group, to connect with my fellow-survivors, hear how they are doing, what new is going on and catching up in general. While it is not always easy we do laugh a lot, and I thought I'd share some snippets of the ridiculous conversations that we have : "Do you still have your ovaries?" "I get so many hot flashes all the time I don't even know what's causing them anymore. Chemo? Meds?" "Think I look good? I have a base...

A sure sign that things are getting back to normal is the inevitable focus on things outside of myself - but perhaps not so far outside myself. I was thinking again how hard it is to live up to my own expectations of what it is to be a good parent. It would be a relief to take the easy path, but if there is something I don't think is a good thing for my kids, it is very hard to allow them to do it, eat it, have it etc. even though it would make life easy for me. It results in quite a bit of internal conflict I can tell you. But enough of that. I wanted to give a quick update on how I am feeling these days, and I have to say that while I am doing better I am shocked by how much my irradiated side is still a problem. The whole area feels very tight still and there are still sore spots. This is after 3 months since my last radiation treatment. I still have one spot that will get red if I am not careful (that is, can't touch , or move the skin around to stretch it or help with b...

I wanted to make a short post to my boys, all of them, about them. To my biggest boy, my husband. I think I owe you a month of Sundays of video games, and I promise you, when I am better you can collect on those IOUs any time you want. I love you: for your patience for your understanding for your flexibility despite the latest curve ball for your positive outlook for your support in so many ways for not asking more of me than I am able and asking so little for perspective for stepping up like a man - the man I wanted to marry and still do and for the way you are. To my little boys, who have shown me so much love. The smallest, my cherub, is the one who will hug my leg and kiss me and remind me why I have to stay strong. My big son will try me but in ways I am only beginning to understand, he shows me his love and his fears. He is a wonderful big brother to the little one (albeit rough at times), but when I need him to be the man of the house - he rises to the challenge...

I've done 2 other "Cancer by the Numbers" posts, the first was about blood counts , the second about my grocery bill.  Why am I doing a post on risk? First it is to share general information but it is also to let my friends and family have some understanding of where I am now that I've completed treatment. My standard answer to what's happening is that I've completed my last treatment (radiation), and now I wait. This post is about understanding the likelihood of me waiting in vain (desired outcome). Risk of getting cancer. The chance of a woman having invasive breast cancer some time during her life is a little less 1 in 8.  (1) The chance of dying from breast cancer is about 1 in 36 and death rates are declining. (1) What increases your chances of getting cancer? Being female. It is 100 times more common for females than for males (1) . This means that my nieces have a higher risk for breast cancer than my sons do, even though the heredit...

***I am  not a doctor. This is NOT medical advice. This is NOT a definitive statement on how cancer works  *** There is much being written now about the link between diet and cancer. I recently read, "Foods to Fight Cancer" by  Dr. Richard Beliveau and Dr. Denis Gringras (cancer researchers - see my book review). According to the authors, one of the risk factors for cancer is poor diet (up to 30%), that is, about one-third of all cancers may be linked to diet. They talk about what research exists that shows eating certain foods help fight cancer. (I've included my interpreted summary in a table below). The bottom line is to eat a healthy diet that is rich in fruits and vegetables. It is interesting to note that newer cancer drugs target one of the two ways cancer works, and mimic the effects of fruit and vegetables. How cancer works: But first a quick overview of these two basic ideas (as explained by the authors): 1. Apoptosis. Cancer cells don't "commi...

Yes, that's right. This past week I completed #33 of #33 daily radiation cycles. I can hardly believe it. Next stop reconstruction, but not for months yet. Thanks again to our friends and family who have made such a difference in our lives. I feel that you were with us through this whole time. I am ecstatic at having completed my treatment plan. However I, like many other cancer patients who have completed their treatments, feel unsure about the future. This past week has seen my sleep get all messed up again. I still have to assess the enormity of the past 8 months on my life, but that is on the agenda. Mentally & emotionally- somewhat messed up. Physically-getting stronger every day and healing with every day that goes by. Round 1: TheNewMe-1, Cancer-0. While I certainly hope and pray there is no next round, I am waiting. But not in the sense of sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring. More like going about my life so that when or if that phone ever rings, I...

It has occurred to me that very frequently life allows us to show our true selves and exactly what we are capable of, if we are sufficiently motivated. And what brought me to such profound thoughts? Well, I was told by the nurse that I need to soak in an astringent solution and use a special cream 4 times/day to help my irradiated skin. If it gets too damaged, they will have to stop my treatments (No way in hell!!) This process takes about 45 mins each time. So last week I found myself sitting in the car between appointments applying this solution to my skin (very surreptitiously), and then trying to let it air-dry discreetly, all the while pretending to read a book so nobody would approach my window to ask what was wrong.  You can imagine the scene. It reminded me of when my last child was a baby. I was so motivated to breast-feed even though I had gone back to work, I would pump in the car on the way to work. The drive time was just right and I would keep a shawl in the car a...

There was a young lady with cancer, a diagnosis to give you an ulcer. It was an unplanned marathon, of chemo, surgery and radiation all in hopes it's the answer. Chemo is over and surgery is done, she's on the next step of radiation. She burns, swells and is going red "Inflammation" is what the doc said. Sore and pained, she's so ready for fun! Regardless of pain, she goes sun or rain. Treatment is every day to help the cancer go away. It's enough to drive one insane. 33 days the trip must be made, "Make it work" she prayed. 13 complete, 20 to go, the end is far you know. A hard path to walk unafraid. In the room with big machines She lays, imagining peaceful scenes. She takes the radiation, without hesitation to see her kids reach their teens.

Last week was a very busy week - I had follow ups with my oncologist, surgeon, radiation oncologist and I had my first physical therapy session. But first, the surgeon. So what did they find? The surgeon decided to remove 4 lymph nodes, all of which tested negative for cancer - a tremendous relief for us. This is significant. As had been seen in the MRI, the pathology confirmed the shrinkage of the tumour and the surgeon had clear margins (that is, no cancer around the excision site). All good. The surgeon said everything was healing up quite nicely and at the appointment removed my drains. (After surgery, the surgeon leaves tubes attached to the surgery site that drain into plastic containers shaped like grenades. It drains lymphatic fluid and prevents infection.) The care and management of those drains (I had 4), while not painful in themselves was a very big hassle. The process of checking the drains, changing dressings, wrapping bandages etc., all without having the kids s...

Last year, when I was thinking about what to do for my milestone birthday (it is also a milestone year for my husband and brother), a bilateral mastectomy wasn't on my list. However, I am inclined to look at this as having given myself a gift of insurance - insurance against future recurrence. This week has been a week that is blurred in my mind. I am at home recovering now and so far so good. I will meet with my oncologist in a couple of weeks and we can pore over the pathologist's report in detail. For now, preliminary results are very positive. I have to admit to a degree of self-pity for what I have lost and what I am unable to do for myself (not to mention how I look with tubes hanging out of me), but I know others who have gone through this and come out so much more magnificent for it and they are my inspiration. For the survivors out there, know that you have touched the lives of so many women and because of you, the rest of us are open to the possibilities. Happy ...

This week the oncologist felt that I had done enough chemo- I was not going to get Cycle 11 and Cycle 12.  I've talked before about the effects of the chemo on my fingers, but you know it is a sad situation when you knot your pyjama bottoms and then can't untie it to go to the bathroom. No more chemotherapy for me. Yay?  Yes, a bit of an anti-climax, but I still get to ring the "end-of-chemo" bell and get confetti thrown on me by my chemo nurses. My doctor also had in her hand the results of my post-chemotherapy MRI and it showed that there was a reduction in the tumour, it looked less dense than before and above all it looks like the volume of the tumour decreased by about 75%. Yay to that for sure! Considering I didn't feel that anything was changing I was very happy about the result. Next on my list: surgery. She said that although my blood counts are low in some areas, she felt that if I wanted to have surgery that day, I was well enough to do it. Me? We...

Yes, I completed cycle 10, but I may not do 11,12. The pain in my fingers is not going away, and since most people only get about 10 cycles, we think that may have been my last. I will confirm with my doctor on Tuesday whether or not I get one last cycle (#11), but either way, there isn't going to be #12. What that means - I am done with chemo, potentially - Yaaay! But surgery is a lot closer - Boo! But I can finally get this thing out of me - Yaaay! And I've just had a follow-up MRI, so I am waiting on the results of that - Boo! Regardless, I am counting step 1 of 3 complete (or almost). Surgery is step 2, Radiation is step 3. So what have my Tuesdays been like? I've had friends give me a lift these past few cycles because the Benadryl that I get leaves me feeling very woozy. If things run late I get home by 1:30pm or 2:00pm (after being at the doctor since 9-ish). If things run smoothly, I am done by 12:30pm. Either way, it is a long day. I get home and I get into my...

Where have I been? It has been a very hectic two weeks. My brother was visiting for one week, so there wasn't much  time for blogging (even though I didn't do too much with him).   It was a busy two weeks at school for my older one as well, but this coming week should be a bit slower. I know I need the routine. On the kid front I am gaining ground on the discipline issue and the kids are doing well. I am shouting less, which makes everyone happy. So, how did the last two cycles of chemo go? Much like the rest, however for sure I do have some additional symptoms or maybe it is more pronounced. Side Effects My eyelashes are gone and almost all of my eyebrows. I've also been more bold about being bald - if you come to my house, you run the risk of seeing me bald, but I've recently come into a bag of hats, so I may have something I feel like putting on. I don't know.  Just be prepared. I have more pain around my nails now, so opening tupperware, chips/crisps pack...

Another two-in-one post. I think this may be considered my "challenge" post.  The good news is that I have now completed 7 of 12 cycles, so I am looking at the end of chemotherapy. As I look back on my initial post , I realise that I had neglected a key piece of information about the kind of cancer I have.  Some women have cancers that are responsive to hormones, (quite simply, it appears that hormones make the cancer grow) and some women don't. I fall into the latter category - I am what is called triple negative. This is not a good thing. On my most recent visit with my oncologist we talked through "the numbers" that is, the survival rates and we assessed again how well my tumour is responding to chemotherapy (not as well as we'd hoped).  So these last two weeks have been quite a challenge mentally. It doesn't help that one of the side effects of all of this is a decline in disciplinary standards at our house.  Over the course of the summer I w...