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Showing posts with the label self-pity

5 Years ago today

I had a bilateral mastectomy.    Pink Shoelaces. See p.s. for the note about them.   It was traumatic. I have not written a whole lot about how emotional the cancer journey has been for me, I tend to keep that kind of thing under wraps. In fact, this is what I wrote 5 years ago Week 21 - Surgery . I don't have any pictures of my scars or the tubes or anything but there are some memories and feelings that will stay with me for the rest of my life. I had steeled myself on the first visit to the oncologist, so even "Stage III" did not make me break down. I took it like a woman. I didn't breakdown when my hair started to fall out or when I stared back at my bald self with no eyebrows nor eyelashes. I didn't collapse under the weight of the chemo and what it did to me, but I'll tell you what broke me: The first time I unwrapped those bandages and looked at myself, and looked at the scars and the hollowed out spaces in my chest and the draini...