Khabi Khabie Mere Dil Mein...

Sometimes the thought crosses my mindthat you've been made just for me.Before this, you were dwelling somewhere in the stars;you were summoned to earth just for me...
Sometimes the thought crosses my mind
that this body and these eyes are kept in trust for me
that the dark shadows of your hair are for my sake alone,
that these lips and these arms are charged to my care...

These are the first two verses (translated) of one of my mom's favourite songs- Khabi Khabie, from the movie of the same name. The song was written by poet Sahir Ludhianvi with music composed by Mohammed Zahar Khaiyamm and sung by Lata Mangeshkar and Mukesh. It is such a beautiful, soul-baring and hair-raising love song. Here is a picture of my mom surrounded by the flowers she loved, for her 60th birthday. She died 5 years later. Ironically, she never knew what the lyrics meant.

Today marks 7 years since she died, but some of the things I have to be grateful for are:
- We had a loving relationship but not always peaceful
- She was able to see how I turned out and I hope she was proud of me and my choices
- She was able to hold her first grandson before she died
- We got a chance to do many mother-daughter things together. Memories I still have, of going to cloth stores, going to teas, having her lean on me..just once
- I think I understood my mother. As I've gotten older and as a mother myself, I think the picture becomes clearer.

One of the most important things I have remaining of my mother is her little recipe book. A small 2"x4" notebook with her uneven writing (she left school at around 13 years, so her handwriting suffered). I've never made anything from her recipe book, but I think this is the year I will try - my mom was a most excellent cook which I never truly appreciated until I started cooking.

In the meantime, I will go and listen to Khabi Khabie and let the tears flow.

To listen to the song, go here. The quality might not be excellent- the movie was released in 1976.
There are slightly different translations, but I like this one, so go here for a translation of the lyrics, and for the poet Sahir Ludhianvi reading his poem go here.

Week 20, Cycles 11,12 of 12: Not Happening

This week the oncologist felt that I had done enough chemo- I was not going to get Cycle 11 and Cycle 12. I've talked before about the effects of the chemo on my fingers, but you know it is a sad situation when you knot your pyjama bottoms and then can't untie it to go to the bathroom. No more chemotherapy for me. Yay? Yes, a bit of an anti-climax, but I still get to ring the "end-of-chemo" bell and get confetti thrown on me by my chemo nurses. My doctor also had in her hand the results of my post-chemotherapy MRI and it showed that there was a reduction in the tumour, it looked less dense than before and above all it looks like the volume of the tumour decreased by about 75%. Yay to that for sure! Considering I didn't feel that anything was changing I was very happy about the result. Next on my list: surgery. She said that although my blood counts are low in some areas, she felt that if I wanted to have surgery that day, I was well enough to do it. Me? We

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This is the second "Cancer by the Numbers" post, the first was about blood counts . We have been trying to eat organic fruits and vegetables as much as we can, to reduce the pesticide levels we injest. I will publish another post about cancer and food, but for now I thought I'd share the cost of organic vs not organic based on a quick poll of my local grocery (HEB). We had cut out meat prior to my diagnosis of cancer (ever since reading The China Study ) so perhaps the decline in spending in meat is offset by the more pricey organic items! The graph below shows the increase, as a percentage of the non-organic price, that I pay for common items that I buy. While the actual dollar amounts may not be significant individually, I can tell you that I really feel it on my grocery bill when I buy blueberries! If you feel you want to buy organic, but want to spend the dollars on those items where it makes a difference, take a look at the Environmental Working

Cancer Survivor, writing about Health and Fitness as you age

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