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Children make my head hurt

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..amongst other parts of my body.  More and more as the children get older (Lucas is now 8), I find myself having to negotiate the dark, murky and treacherous waters of philosophical issues (I can barely get that out correctly).

Take for example, your simple roadside beggar.  Do you give money to roadside beggars?  We don't.  As we've tried to explain to Lucas, we give money to organizations that provide support for the homeless, therefore we feel there is a place for these individuals to go.  If we gave money to everyone who we saw begging, we don't know if they will spend it on food or buying a lottery ticket.  By giving it to local community organizations we are more confident that our money is being used effectively.

But is that the point?

Is it worth it to demonstrate charity to our son, to just give regardless of what the money will be used for?  How can we show him charity and help him make thoughtful decisions about how to spend his money?   Hence the headache.  I've been back and forth in my mind on this and I would be interested to hear someone (anyone) else's thoughts on this.

p.s.
Generally, on the issue of charity, I had a dilemma last year which I resolved by giving more to fewer charities rather than using the buckshot approach.  So far, it has been working for us.
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Unknown said…
Well i do think showing charity is important but you don't have to show him via the beggar in the street. You can but if you already have a process that you use then show him that process. Maybe take him to visit the charity, let him see how they help and connect the dots by explaining how your support facilitates that. Of course, you can also buy a BK sandwich and just give to a homeless guy so he sees that too.
13 December 2009 at 13:49
Savi said…
I wouldn't give to a roadside beggar either, even though just ignoring them does make me feel uncomfortable. Luckily, I guess, there are no beggars in our small city, though we do encounter them on visits to Edinburgh or Glasgow.

My kids are old enough to understand if I explain that beggars often have addictions to drugs and alcohol, and I don't want to support that. I do donate to a charity for the homeless, so I don't have a bad conscience about this, but it is still unpleasant to walk past a person in need. I like Kevin's idea of giving food though I've never tried it.

Regarding ways to involve kids in charity, have you looked at any child sponsorship programs? These send you photos and info, and let you and your kids exchange letters with the child. I currently sponsor a little girl in Bolivia, and I've had a couple of nice letters from her mother (the girl herself is too young for school).
15 December 2009 at 06:31
Austin Trini said…
Kev - good idea. Lucas will be home over the Christmas holidays, so maybe we try to do that. We are trying to get him more involved in charity work, so we'll see how that goes.

Savi-funny you should talk about child sponsorship programs. We just started sponsoring a boy from Rwanda about 2 months ago. I'll contact you offline, I'd love to hear what organization you are with and your experiences
17 December 2009 at 07:07
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