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Forgotten Birthdays

I recently had a birthday for which I was very grateful. You never know if you will get another birthday even without having had a cancer diagnosis. So I was pretty sad that my brother didn't tell me "Happy Birthday". I don't have an expectation that my sister-in-law (his wife), would remember, but my brother? He didn't even have to call, since I called him two days before my birthday - he could have said it then. He even had a built-in reminder - his wife's birthday was two days after mine.

I never considered myself a needy person who needs encouragement and needs to fussed over unnecessarily, but I just didn't understand it - I still don't . My husband's family remembers every year. But it did get me to thinking about what other friends who have been diagnosed with cancer, have said:

  • Friends fade from their lives, or avoid them.
  • Some friends are so wonderful, they are the cream of the crop.
  • Family get offended if they, (the diagnosed) are not themselves (so perhaps they didn't go swimming if they've recently had surgery or have drains and family members get upset because they don't understand why).
  • Maybe some friends or family felt guilty that someone else was diagnosed (and not them) and  they just withdraw.
  • Or maybe they had lost a loved one and didn't want to go through that hurt again (so they withdraw).
  • Some frankly, may have no clue about what tsurvivors are going through and no desire to find out.

I am sure my brother is thinking of me and doing things for me in ways that I may not know, but still, it would have been nice to hear "Happy Birthday".





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