Where have I been? Clearly I've been doing some letting go, but not of this blog. At least, not just yet.
I've been reflecting on how I've changed in recent years, and wanted to share some of what I've concluded and what I am letting go of.
1. Let go of old assumptions and constraints when circumstances have changed. Is the old thinking still applicable?
When I was first married, money was limited, and we had one sheet set. When it came time to change sheets, it was a pain, (not to mention boring), because we would strip the bed in the morning, put it to wash before work, and end up having to put back the washed sheets at night when we were both tired, before we could sleep.
For a long long time I thought, wouldn't it be great if I could strip the bed and make it at the same time in the morning? Even when money became more available, I still was trapped by thinking I couldn't afford it. Then one day, it dawned on me, I could! My circumstances had changed. I could have another set or two and swap out the sheets on wash day. I felt freed! Always question, do the old assumptions still hold?
2. Let go of "perfect". I have always wanted everything to be as it is in my mind - just perfect. . Birthday party not quite as perfect as you'd like? Dinner not as perfect as you imagined? I am letting those things go - I take comfort in the fact that 80% is usually good enough and 100% may just not be worth it. It is a hard lesson, but I am working on reminding myself, or at least asking the question, "Is perfect worth it?".
3. Let go of "No". Very often my first response to any request from the kids, is always "No", but I am trying to figure out how to say "Yes" more, even if it may not be completely what they've asked for. Meeting them half-way. If it makes sense, I'll say "Yes" more. The corollary of that, is to let go of "Yes", because if you say yes to too many things that, is a whole 'nother story.
4. Let go of fear. The trick they say is to think through the worst thing that could happen and then decide. I recently took a long weekend trip with my husband, a celebration of sorts. It was the first time we've ever both been more than 2 hours away from the kids. That was a big lesson in letting go. I had to let go of the fears, (what if something happened to us? Unlikely, but still..). What if something happened to them (they were in the care of their sitter who takes them around anyway), what if something happened to the sitter? (thanks friends!). I let go of the fear, but may not make this choice again, but I do know I can move forward despite fear - it does not have to paralyse me.
5. Let go of second-guessing. For me, this is wrapped up in fear - fear of doing the wrong thing, meant that I would always be thinking about whether the decision was correct or not. Now, I am getting more comfortable with deciding on something quickly then knowing that I could always change my mind. Most decisions are not life or death or a point of no return, and I am getting better about accepting that maybe the first decision may not have been the best, but then I learn and move on to the next iteration. And that is ok.
Here's to 2015 and letting go.
I've been reflecting on how I've changed in recent years, and wanted to share some of what I've concluded and what I am letting go of.
1. Let go of old assumptions and constraints when circumstances have changed. Is the old thinking still applicable?
When I was first married, money was limited, and we had one sheet set. When it came time to change sheets, it was a pain, (not to mention boring), because we would strip the bed in the morning, put it to wash before work, and end up having to put back the washed sheets at night when we were both tired, before we could sleep.
For a long long time I thought, wouldn't it be great if I could strip the bed and make it at the same time in the morning? Even when money became more available, I still was trapped by thinking I couldn't afford it. Then one day, it dawned on me, I could! My circumstances had changed. I could have another set or two and swap out the sheets on wash day. I felt freed! Always question, do the old assumptions still hold?
2. Let go of "perfect". I have always wanted everything to be as it is in my mind - just perfect. . Birthday party not quite as perfect as you'd like? Dinner not as perfect as you imagined? I am letting those things go - I take comfort in the fact that 80% is usually good enough and 100% may just not be worth it. It is a hard lesson, but I am working on reminding myself, or at least asking the question, "Is perfect worth it?".
3. Let go of "No". Very often my first response to any request from the kids, is always "No", but I am trying to figure out how to say "Yes" more, even if it may not be completely what they've asked for. Meeting them half-way. If it makes sense, I'll say "Yes" more. The corollary of that, is to let go of "Yes", because if you say yes to too many things that, is a whole 'nother story.
4. Let go of fear. The trick they say is to think through the worst thing that could happen and then decide. I recently took a long weekend trip with my husband, a celebration of sorts. It was the first time we've ever both been more than 2 hours away from the kids. That was a big lesson in letting go. I had to let go of the fears, (what if something happened to us? Unlikely, but still..). What if something happened to them (they were in the care of their sitter who takes them around anyway), what if something happened to the sitter? (thanks friends!). I let go of the fear, but may not make this choice again, but I do know I can move forward despite fear - it does not have to paralyse me.
5. Let go of second-guessing. For me, this is wrapped up in fear - fear of doing the wrong thing, meant that I would always be thinking about whether the decision was correct or not. Now, I am getting more comfortable with deciding on something quickly then knowing that I could always change my mind. Most decisions are not life or death or a point of no return, and I am getting better about accepting that maybe the first decision may not have been the best, but then I learn and move on to the next iteration. And that is ok.
Here's to 2015 and letting go.
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