Cancer Survivor, writing about Health and Fitness as you age

This week our son Lucas said, "I don't understand why someone would get arrested for being with someone they liked". He had been watching a cartoon where the King and Queen sent the gardner to jail because he ran off with the Princess - they loved each other. Since he was looking at me for an explanation, I did what any good parent would do - I stalled. "When Papa comes home, we'll explain." Papa, of course, looked at me when he came home and asked me, "What do we say?" Indeed, what to say? Lucas never asked many questions about where babies came from when his baby brother was on the way, and in some..make that ALL respects, that would have been a much simpler conversation. This was something else. In the end, we muddled through by explaining that maybe they really didn't know the gardner very well and had they gotten to know him, they would have liked him. Or maybe he was different to what they were accustomed to, and they didn't

Yesterday my husband told me that he found my blog posts negative...I asked him if I sounded unhappy? Or even if I looked unhappy? He didn't think so, but still found my postings somewhat negative. I looked down at the list of 4 ideas I had jotted down - 3 out of the 4 may be construed as "negative" but they are things that happen in my day, and frankly the nice, sweet, sentimental stuff doesn't have great entertainment value (sad to say). So.. despite the fact that this is my blog, and I can write what I want, I decided that I wouldn't want people to think that I am bitter or unhappy about being at home - I'm not. We have had such great weather outside these days, how can I, who can go out as I please (and not sit in some windowless cube all day), not be accommodating and be positive. While it is true that I do miss some things about work, if I was at work I'd miss lots of fun things about being at home. For example, Liam almost falling over backward b

In my professional life I'd like to think that I actually had a competency of 7 out of 10, or even 8 when I was firing on all cylinders. Now in my amateur job of 6 months (or at best semi-professional), I have a competency of 5 or 6 on my best day. That's a blow to my self-esteem I have to admit. Now I don't think I was a better mom when I was working (in fact, it may be the other thing), but I believe that my expectations for myself are higher now. But reasonably, I should be able to complete a successful grocery-shopping trip with baby without incident, shouldn't I? That cannot be too high to aim. Keeping crap off the floor is another matter altogether. But I digress as usual. Lucas did some sloppy work last week and I just wasn't able to convince him to rework it (aside from mandating that he do it). I was stumped, impatient, mad and made everybody unhappy. I felt incompetent because I know better. I know to use different words, but you know, 7-year-o

I know that without the stimulus of work (and indeed conversation without words more than 1 syllable), there is bound to be some brain atrophy. Perhaps worrying about it will provide the stimulus I need to keep the old brain ticking...but I don't think it's working. I recently asked a friend of mind if she felt she was getting more stupid staying at home. While she wouldn't admit to that, she did say that she definitely felt "more sluggish". She tried to do puzzles for example, to keep her brain nimble. I don't think that'll work for me though, I need something more industrial-strength for the mush I think my brain is becoming, and I don't think 1st grade homework counts. But, since I haven't actually ever seen anybody with their brain leaking out their ears, I am hopeful. My friend stayed home with her kids for 5 1/2 years before venturing back into the working world part-time. When I asked her if it was difficult, she said at first it was

No, that's not the end of the day when you're so exhausted even your teeth hurt! It's when the baby gets up at 5:00am and you can't do anything productive because the other child is still asleep..so you have to sneak around the house and entertain baby so he remains quiet. Yes, those times when you are up early and you imagine all the things you could be doing (or at least I do), but can't. It's when you're following the baby around but forget to take the phone or a book and then you're stuck somewhere down the street with baby. He's playing so well, you don't want to scoop him up to get anything, but at the same time, just how long can you be expected to sit and watch him push the yard broom back and forth? The "Dead Time" ranks right up there with my greatest frustrations with being a stay-home-mom. I keep thinking that I could be doing something, maybe even earning $X/hr (modesty prevents me from putting a figure), instead, I am

As the days go by, I generally enjoy my time with my little buddies, but there are times of great frustrations as well. One of the simple things I miss is having breakfast in peace while reading the paper. Every morning is practically the same - I hustle to make breakfast for the baby while making mine and then when he is seated I get going on Lucas' all the while gobbling a few bites of my own in-between the table and the kitchen. When I finally do sit down, I have to contend with Lucas trying to tell me something while the baby is screaming at me because I didn't understand that particular inflection of "eh, eh". But no matter, I have to take pride in my newly-developed skills, e.g. being able to butter toast with one hand (while holding the baby) or ignoring the taste of lentil peas in the yogurt because the baby ate from it and I didn't want to dump it. The little one is now toddling around and he's taken to playing hide-and-seek. No, not the game. It&

I have been very sheltered since coming to the US. My primary interactions have been at work where I've been surrounded by a fairly homogenous group of people so that I pretty much know what to expect. Now, having to work with volunteers (other parents), it's a whole different ball game. Even simple things, increases in complexity and risk of failure by 40-fold (..that sounded kinah nice)! This is just the ongoing evolution of me adjusting to the new life. I was very ambitious this past summer - now that I have some time in my day, I volunteered to co-host a baby shower, for a friend, with my friend's neighbor. Well, it started off pretty well, but my co-host felt very strongly that the baby shower should be in a place with "atmosphere". Personally I thought no 3rd party venue would have a better "atmosphere" than an intimate tea-party in someone's home with close friends, but I let her take the lead on that. After insisting that she had a way o

Yes, well, that seems a lifetime ago. When we first discussed the possibility of me staying home, I had such sweet, sweet visions. Fuelled in part by my husband saying "Imagine, when baby sleeps you can be in the beddy eating bon bons and reading a book." What an ideal vision, but as any parent at home with young ones can attest to, that is far from the reality. Naptime is filled with the things I can only do when the baby naps - blog, haggle with the insurance, organize my life, think, etc. So vision-correction is but one of the many adjustments that I've had to make since taking the plunge. In addition to re-calibrating how I value myself (my self-esteem, how I evaluate success, and all that good stuff), and re-calibrating my marriage (suddenly I have no anecdotes to share about dealing with people and situations, I can't make a simple grocery run), I've found that changes have occurred and are occurring in more subtle ways. I can't recall what exactly