The Competency Conundrum

In my professional life I'd like to think that I actually had a competency of 7 out of 10, or even 8 when I was firing on all cylinders. Now in my amateur job of 6 months (or at best semi-professional), I have a competency of 5 or 6 on my best day. That's a blow to my self-esteem I have to admit. Now I don't think I was a better mom when I was working (in fact, it may be the other thing), but I believe that my expectations for myself are higher now. But reasonably, I should be able to complete a successful grocery-shopping trip with baby without incident, shouldn't I? That cannot be too high to aim. Keeping crap off the floor is another matter altogether.

But I digress as usual. Lucas did some sloppy work last week and I just wasn't able to convince him to rework it (aside from mandating that he do it). I was stumped, impatient, mad and made everybody unhappy. I felt incompetent because I know better. I know to use different words, but you know, 7-year-olds don't behave as predictably as spreadsheets and full-time at home with kids tests me to my limit, resulting in less than my best.

In my old job (where I worked for wages), not only did I know if I was doing the right thing, but if I was doing the wrong thing, I got told pretty quickly. In this job, I don't know what I'm doing and I won't know exactly how much damage I've wrought for another 10 years or so!

Aaahhh the joys of parenting...I still wouldn't trade this job for one with wages...at least not yet!

Comments

Talking with Lucas on climate change

This is my post for Blog Action Day . This is an annual event where bloggers everywhere in the world post about the same issue on the same day to spark discussion around an issue of global importance. This is part of a conversation I had with my 8-year old. Mama : Do you know what climate change means? Lucas : I think it means when it is like 90F and it is hot. And the change? It's when in the daytime it might be 90F and sunny and hot, and then you go inside for dinner and then right after dinner and it might have dropped to 70F Well, yes it is that in a way. That describes what is happening in your area, but when people use the term "climate change" they really mean something more global, like affecting climate around the world Have you heard of the team "global warming"? What global warming is that it is made up of CO2 (carbon dioxide) and when they burn stuff the smoke releases CO2 and it's like a blanket covering the earth and if it k...

My little Karateka-in-training...

Lucas recently tested for his high white belt (karate) and as I looked in on him through the glass doors to his class, I was overwhelmed by the sense of my little boy on his own in the world. He looked so small in his white Gi in front of the table where his Sensei, her Sensei and another instructor, sat. I watched him stand with his weight on one foot, then the other, doing jumping jacks to warm up and practicing kicks and blocks with his classmates. I felt the tears well up and got that old lump in the throat. I hadn't felt like that in a long, long time with Lucas, why now? I think that unlike his spelling test, where I can help him by reviewing the words with him, or his Maths, this was something he had to do on his own. I couldn't help him. Heck, I didn't even know what the right moves were! I guess he is at the age where he will have more and more independent experiences. I will hold on to this picture of him in my mind, and the feeling th...

Cancer by the numbers 2 of 4: That grocery bill

This is the second "Cancer by the Numbers" post, the first was about blood counts . We have been trying to eat organic fruits and vegetables as much as we can, to reduce the pesticide levels we injest. I will publish another post about cancer and food, but for now I thought I'd share the cost of organic vs not organic based on a quick poll of my local grocery (HEB). We had cut out meat prior to my diagnosis of cancer (ever since reading The China Study ) so perhaps the decline in spending in meat is offset by the more pricey organic items! The graph below shows the increase, as a percentage of the non-organic price, that I pay for common items that I buy. While the actual dollar amounts may not be significant individually, I can tell you that I really feel it on my grocery bill when I buy blueberries! If you feel you want to buy organic, but want to spend the dollars on those items where it makes a difference, take a look at the Environmental Working ...

Cancer Survivor, writing about Health and Fitness as you age

Search This Blog