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My husband promised me bon bons

Yes, well, that seems a lifetime ago. When we first discussed the possibility of me staying home, I had such sweet, sweet visions. Fuelled in part by my husband saying "Imagine, when baby sleeps you can be in the beddy eating bon bons and reading a book."

What an ideal vision, but as any parent at home with young ones can attest to, that is far from the reality. Naptime is filled with the things I can only do when the baby naps - blog, haggle with the insurance, organize my life, think, etc. So vision-correction is but one of the many adjustments that I've had to make since taking the plunge.

In addition to re-calibrating how I value myself (my self-esteem, how I evaluate success, and all that good stuff), and re-calibrating my marriage (suddenly I have no anecdotes to share about dealing with people and situations, I can't make a simple grocery run), I've found that changes have occurred and are occurring in more subtle ways.

I can't recall what exactly the situation was but I was dealing with my 7-year old, and I asked my husband his opinion. He suggested I Google it, which was fine except that I was asking his opinion as the other parent. It reminded me of work situations where you may have a problem and you solicit help from your colleagues. While they may make suggestions, you are left in no doubt as to whose problem it is. It was quite a shock to me to see this at home, and maybe I shouldn't have been surprised. I guess it is only natural. We had gone from an equal share in parenting to me having the larger responsibility. Yikes!!

So, there I am, I've got the baby pinned under one armpit, trying to soap then rinse one grubby little hand without letting him dive headfirst into the porcelain sink, while he is kicking his legs, and grabbing at everything he can find with his other hand....I feel something settle around me, "What the...?" Crap! It's Lucas, he's just lassoed me with the belt-tie of my bathrobe...

I take a few deep breaths, repeating my mantra, 'There will be bon bons, there will be bon bons.....Sometime...In the future.....I hope.....I pray......When, Oh when??'
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