If my husband is reading this, I can just imagine his reaction, "WHAT NEXT CHILD??!!!" A friend of mine recently mentioned wanting another child (this is someone who is finally ready to do sleep-training with her 2-year old - a baby who is not completely weaned yet), but anyways, yes this crazy mom is talking about another child. (By the way, I should warn you, this is a short post on a complex topic.)
So it got me thinking. Liam is 2 now, and it would be great to have a little princess, but I started this baby business a little (ahem) later than some of my peers and having a child later in life is complicated because of the risks (both for mother, baby and of course emotionally and financially if baby has health issues). I look at Liam and think what a sweet child he is, wouldn't it be wonderful to experience that all over again? But getting there would be a problem - struggles with nursing, up every 1 1/2 hours, not to mention getting through a pregnancy and delivery in one piece. At my age. Provided all the plumbing still works. There is also the possibility of having a 3rd boy...something my husband swears he will not survive. Apparently he is concerned that his back is not strong enough now to withstand two boys jumping and pounding on him, far less three. Whatever.
The idea of a sweet baby to love up on again is very compelling, provided that baby does turn out to be sweet. On the children's side, I look at how Lucas has had to adjust to his baby brother, 6 years younger than him, and he has been so flexible and understanding, even though he has had to relinquish toys and attention. I am not sure I want to give him even less attention and then also deny Liam. Needless to say, I've had to delve deep into why I want another child. (A mental fish-bone diagram if you will.) Perhaps if I was working, this wouldn't have even come up.
A conversation I had, with someone else, gave me another perspective. She was undergoing early menopause, and told me she was upset about the whole thing, but what she needed was "..a time of mourning." Then it struck me- of course, mourning for all the children she would not be able to have herself. There I was being all selfish and self-centered as usual, thinking only about the unpleasantness for her; thinking surely she should be happy with her daughter, and not respecting her desires for the future.
Perhaps that is what I must do. Think long, think deep and mourn if I must.
So it got me thinking. Liam is 2 now, and it would be great to have a little princess, but I started this baby business a little (ahem) later than some of my peers and having a child later in life is complicated because of the risks (both for mother, baby and of course emotionally and financially if baby has health issues). I look at Liam and think what a sweet child he is, wouldn't it be wonderful to experience that all over again? But getting there would be a problem - struggles with nursing, up every 1 1/2 hours, not to mention getting through a pregnancy and delivery in one piece. At my age. Provided all the plumbing still works. There is also the possibility of having a 3rd boy...something my husband swears he will not survive. Apparently he is concerned that his back is not strong enough now to withstand two boys jumping and pounding on him, far less three. Whatever.
The idea of a sweet baby to love up on again is very compelling, provided that baby does turn out to be sweet. On the children's side, I look at how Lucas has had to adjust to his baby brother, 6 years younger than him, and he has been so flexible and understanding, even though he has had to relinquish toys and attention. I am not sure I want to give him even less attention and then also deny Liam. Needless to say, I've had to delve deep into why I want another child. (A mental fish-bone diagram if you will.) Perhaps if I was working, this wouldn't have even come up.
A conversation I had, with someone else, gave me another perspective. She was undergoing early menopause, and told me she was upset about the whole thing, but what she needed was "..a time of mourning." Then it struck me- of course, mourning for all the children she would not be able to have herself. There I was being all selfish and self-centered as usual, thinking only about the unpleasantness for her; thinking surely she should be happy with her daughter, and not respecting her desires for the future.
Perhaps that is what I must do. Think long, think deep and mourn if I must.
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