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Life as a parent

"Stop it!"  "No!" "Don't do that!"  "Will you be quiet?!!"  "Go upstairs to your room!"

"Well he started it!"

"Why can't I get to watch the TV show that I want?"

"Mom, he's bothering me"

"Take turns I said!"

"Liam! Stop it! You'll hurt brother!"
"Lucas! Stop it! You'll hurt brother!"


Why am I the only adult on the playscape? Hmmm.
And why am I the only adult squeezing through this tiny tube in the bouncy castle?  Hmmmm.

It's not even the summer vacation.  By the time the kids move out of the house, I'll have the patience of Job.

As with all parent-child relationships, sometimes things go well, and then other times, well not so much. Right now, our current hurdle is being respectful.  In choice of words, tone and listening. It's an uphill battle, and not only because I have a sinking feeling that my child must be getting this from me.
It is really hard working on being respectful because there doesn't seem to be a clear natural consequence of him behaving disrespectfully. There is only reward for being respectful (and just how much video-game time should I allow him to earn?)  In the meantime, I do get some bright lights in the murky water of parenting.

Liam: "Mama, the truck is broken. I can fix it."  He looks at me thoughtfully, "Mama, are you broken?"

"Honey, when I am broken, you can fix me with hugs and kisses."
Hug.
"I love you Mama."
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Comments

Savi said…
Hi Sally,

Great post, very true! That's a really sweet comment from Liam at the end there, awww... I'm glad he knows how to fix you when you're broken :)

Things are very similar in my house: a combination of bickering, disrespect, and unexpected sweetness sometimes. I think it's all normal.

You probably have read these already, but in case not, here are two books about communicating with children that I really like: "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" and "Siblings without rivalry" by Faber and Mazlish.

Take care,
Savi
25 May 2010 at 04:44
Austin Trini said…
Hey Savi, thanks for the reassurance. I tell you, it's so hard to get things right consistently.

I had not heard of the books you mentioned, so I appreciate the recommendations. I think I need to have a separate list of parenting books I've read and liked!
25 May 2010 at 06:39
Greta said…
The ending of your post is particularly touching. Reading what Liam said to you was like a wake-up call for me. Lately I have been very caught up with the girls' schoolwork and piano lessons (another upcoming piano recital --eek!!) that I realize I was being rather hard on them, and I had to relax and let them enjoy playing their 'baby' games.

Thanks for posting about your experiences, and it reminds me to enjoy my kids in their various stages. You sound like a very down-to-earth mom, and I am sure one day when your boys are all grown up, they will thank you for everything you've done for them, including the values you've tried to inculcate in them.
25 May 2010 at 18:02
Austin Trini said…
Greta, thank you for your kind words. One thing that writing this blog has given me is that it forces me to actively notice what is happening now and remember it later - good and bad. It also helps change the focus from what needs to get done, to just enjoying them. Take it easy with your girls and enjoy the summer!
27 May 2010 at 20:27
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