Skip to main content

Separation anxiety

I love it when Liam shows me by his actions and his words that he is attached to me, it makes me feel warm and full, but not when it is 2:00 am, or when I am about to leave for Book Club and he is begging me to stay.

Liam has just turned three and is very attached to me, and most times I don't mind, but sometimes, I wish he would be less attached.

I remember when we (and by this I mean me), were looking into the idea of a family bed or co-sleeping before he was born.  There were some who felt that the closeness and always being there when your child needed you made your child very secure and was reassuring.  Now that he is 3 I wonder if him wanting me, and me staying when he wants is simply reinforcing a bad habit.  My doctor would say "Yes!".

It is the same action, (him wanting me around)  but the view of the action and my reaction could be different depending on which camp I'm in.

So should I continue to reassure him for as long as he needs? Or do I just rationalise his behaviour as "habit" and break him out of it?  So far, I think it is ok for me to leave because when I come back he doesn't seem traumatised by my absence or unduly insecure because of my actions.  And I am usually leaving him with his Papa.   Surely that is not so unreasonable?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

10 things I have learnt about my teen and language

I have just been thinking about how my son speaks and what he says. He is 13 now and here is what I have discovered: 1. He does know some curse words, although he does not use them (at least in my hearing). I know this because he knows to switch the YouTube video he is watching when he hears one. 2. His language is tempered by having a younger sibling around (and he knows he will be in big trouble if he forgets that). 3. He gets more animated when he is around his friends and especially when he is gaming with them, and he uses a different vocabulary than regular speech (see #5). 4. I should not be annoyed if I am speaking to him and he shouts back "What?!!" The decibel level gets really, really high when he has his headset on AND he is gaming. 5. I am grateful that he uses expressions like, "What the fudge?",  "Crap" and "YOLO". Usually these are followed by the terms "Die!" or "Hackers!" or "Destroy" , bec...

Job Search2: Networking etiquette..

On which I have a few ideas.  As my husband keeps telling me, I won't get a job by spending hours in front of the computer submitting applications to online job postings.  The best use of any job-seeker's time is spent talking to friends and acquaintances and letting them know that you are looking for a job and what your skills and interests are. So here is what I found tricky about networking: How hard to push?  Working parents are busy, so if I asked a friend, who is a working parent, about a position I had seen at their company, do I ask a second time? How soon after? And what if there is another position - do I talk about that too?  If that friend is very enthusiastic about getting more information for me on a post then I hear nothing, what then?  Is it realistic to think they'll get back to me?  I find it difficult to broach the topic again.  I might ask a second time but for me there is no third time. What do I trade in return? In the net...

What is your 'bread & butter' conversation?

I am anxious to get back to the playgroups with my Moms group, and talk with some of the other moms because I want to know what they talk to their husbands about at the end of the day. If I were to truly tell my husband what goes on with my day? Well, the conversation would be inane and irrelevant. Gunnar: "How was your day honey?" Big smile. Me: "You know the usual. Lucas got up late this morning and was crabby because he didn't have enough time to play before breakfast and Liam pulled off my tiny earring, you know, the one I was so excited about getting because I thought he wouldn't notice it, and I could wear earrings again? Anyways, he pulled it off, and I grabbed it from him and set it down so I could deal with him appropriately, and I forgot about it, but when I went back to look for it I couldn't find it. It might have gotten wiped off the table when I was cleaning, so I spent part of the day sifting through the garbage looking for it, then I looked ...