I overheard a mom telling her, maybe 4-year old, not to watch T.V - this was on the way to dropping him off at the gym childcare. You'd be pleased to know that I restrained both my voice and my eyebrows in response to this obviously ludicrous suggestion:
Aside from those observations, it did get me thinking about the parenting style that says, "The kids have to learn the word 'No' " and the style that says, "I don't want to have to keep saying 'No' all the time, so I'll just not expose them to things they can't have or would break".
Favouring the low-stress solution, we fall into the latter camp, the other parents clearly fell into the former. Even though it is true that children must learn the word "No", we try to use it sparingly and it is very often in the context of "Not now", "Later". That seems to be the kinder, gentler method... on us (we aren't so concerned about the children, they'll adapt).
I remember one parent who didn't want her children to drink soda, so whenever she had it at home, she would put it in a coffee mug, and tell her kids it was coffee (which they knew they couldn't have). Me, I drink tea, and I didn't tell Liam that it is a drink for adults, (which I should have), so now I make a very sweet, milky and diluted cup of tea for him.
I figure there will be other times in his life to come when he will hear plenty of "No"s. Does he really need to hear it from me, now?
- That a 4-year old would be able to restrain himself if the television is on and his mother wasn't there and
- That the childcare staff would actually care
Aside from those observations, it did get me thinking about the parenting style that says, "The kids have to learn the word 'No' " and the style that says, "I don't want to have to keep saying 'No' all the time, so I'll just not expose them to things they can't have or would break".
Favouring the low-stress solution, we fall into the latter camp, the other parents clearly fell into the former. Even though it is true that children must learn the word "No", we try to use it sparingly and it is very often in the context of "Not now", "Later". That seems to be the kinder, gentler method... on us (we aren't so concerned about the children, they'll adapt).
I remember one parent who didn't want her children to drink soda, so whenever she had it at home, she would put it in a coffee mug, and tell her kids it was coffee (which they knew they couldn't have). Me, I drink tea, and I didn't tell Liam that it is a drink for adults, (which I should have), so now I make a very sweet, milky and diluted cup of tea for him.
I figure there will be other times in his life to come when he will hear plenty of "No"s. Does he really need to hear it from me, now?
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