Skip to main content

Weeks 13, 14, Cycles 4 & 5 of 12

This is a combined post, caused by much delinquency on my part and to some degree inertia.  In my defense though, I started going into the office 3 days a week at least. The downside is that I don't have energy for blogging once I get home, and unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of "things" that need attention right now.

I haven't had too many pains this past week, but there is always something to manage with chemo and no two weeks seem to be exactly the same. In general I feel ok considering I am undergoing chemo (see Translations), but at times the feeling of exhaustion just overwhelms me. Two days after my chemo this week I felt my poor confused body trying to take a stand against the chemo poisons  (lymph nodes seemed enlarged, tiredness, etc.).

Instead of spending too much time on the state of Me, I thought I'd share some thoughts on "What do I really mean?" or "Translations" and "The side-effects that keep on coming".

Translations
  • If I say I am doing "good" it really means 'While not myself, I am surprised at how normal I feel, as long as I am not climbing stairs'.  Either that or I don't want to spend the time to be truthful and potentially have a follow up conversation with you.
  • When I say I am "fine" it really means 'I am doing fine considering I am getting chemo', not that I am fine and everything is well in my world.  The reminder is that right now, I am 50%-60% functional if so much.
  • If I say "I have had better days", know that that means I really don't feel well at all, and offer to go and buy me hot wings or hot and sour soup.

Those pesky side effects

  • First off: Brain clutter. In the last few weeks the more mess there is around me, the more my brain seems to be cluttered and confused. So much so that I have been cleaning out the house, even to the point of dumping out things I have kept for years (and I don't mean 2, I mean 10). I have been cleaning with a fury that has shocked even me albeit very very slowly.
  • Tired, Tired, Tired. After a while, unsurprisingly, I just get tired of not being myself and not feeling well. It's more like getting fed-up. I imagine I am not so unusual in this regard. I also get tired of all the little things I have had to change (like wash fruits and vegetables extra carefully; and floss 2-3 times/day on top of brushing and then using mouthwash!)
  • My taste buds. Will food ever taste the same again? So I really can't taste food like I used to anymore. I know what a particular dish used to taste like, and I imagine it in my mind, and then I taste it.  When I have it now, it's like some of my taste buds are missing/destroyed/don't work right, and the taste isn't the same. Needless to say food isn't so enjoyable anymore and only the strongest flavours interest me (think hot wings and medium spicy curry).

And now I have to rest.  Next week will be Cycle 6 of 12, the half-way mark. I still haven't felt the side-effect that my doctor would stop the treatments for (tingling and numbness in the fingers), and I am hopeful I won't, but each cycle brings new discoveries.

Comments

G said…
I'm happy to see that you haven't lost your writing skills or your sense of humor :)
kim said…
Salina,

I had no idea you were going through this battle! When I saw you at school a few weeks back...I knew something was going on...I just didn't know what. I finally heard about your blog from someone at school and wanted you to know that I am thinking of you. I have always loved seeing your smiling face and I miss seeing you since you have gone back to work.
Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope to see your beautiful smile again soon! Kim Christman
Austin Trini said…
Kim - Thank you so much for your thoughts! I do miss those mornings also when I didn't have a schedule to keep and I was free to wander around with Liam :)

But being at work has its advantages too. You take care and I hope to catch up with you soon.

Popular posts from this blog

Best Groom's Response Ever!

20 Years ago "On behalf of my most beautiful wife, Sally and myself, I'd like to thank you all for being here today. Special thanks go to all those of you who have worked very hard to make and arrange this event and to those of you who have traveled very long and very far to be here today. You may have noticed, on the outside, Sally and I are very different and have different backgrounds; but on the inside, Sally and I are very alike. We can relate to how each other thinks and feels - which is why we are here today. So, on behalf of my wife Sally and myself, I would like to thank Allah for bringing two like souls together despite the outer appearances, and I would also like to thank both our families for accepting the new family member so kindly despite the outer differences." True then as it is now. The paper he is holding? My hubby's hand-written notes from 20 years ago: But you want wedding pictures right?  Outside the mosque, be...

Job Search2: Networking etiquette..

On which I have a few ideas.  As my husband keeps telling me, I won't get a job by spending hours in front of the computer submitting applications to online job postings.  The best use of any job-seeker's time is spent talking to friends and acquaintances and letting them know that you are looking for a job and what your skills and interests are. So here is what I found tricky about networking: How hard to push?  Working parents are busy, so if I asked a friend, who is a working parent, about a position I had seen at their company, do I ask a second time? How soon after? And what if there is another position - do I talk about that too?  If that friend is very enthusiastic about getting more information for me on a post then I hear nothing, what then?  Is it realistic to think they'll get back to me?  I find it difficult to broach the topic again.  I might ask a second time but for me there is no third time. What do I trade in return? In the net...

About those peeps

I've previously blogged about my state trying to find a group of girlfriends here in Austin , so I thought I'd provide an update on my quest to surround myself with peeps who are actually available to go to the neighbourhood coffee shop and sit down and chat.  Well, I had made friends with another mom whose son had just started at Lucas' new school.  We would try to have a chat, without children, once a week. Well, they decided to move to Utah after the first term.  Another mom I met through my mom's group who I would meet up separately with and actually have a conversation about what is going on in life, moved too. Not out of state, but far enough where I can't meet her for coffee either.  Hmmmmm. So, my plan has been to crash other peoples' socials.  I went to a playgroup I didn't belong to but was being hosted by a neighbour, that worked out just great!  A little social time, play time for Liam.  I invited another neighbour out to see a movie...on...