Skip to main content

The surrogate parent

That would be Lucas. Yes, my soon-to-be 8-year old is turning into a little parent. For those of you who have multiple children or have girls in the mix, you would know this phenomenon only too well. For me, it's been quite eye-popping.

On the way back from getting Lucas from school one day, I told Liam that I had to hold his hand because there were a lot of cars about. I heard a voice chirp up.

"You don't want Mama to hold your hand? Ok", here Lucas is nodding at Liam and looking down at him with this earnest and concerned expression on his face, "Mama doesn't have to hold your hand right now, but when we get off the grass and on the sidewalk, Mama has to hold your hand, ok?" And I wasn't even absent! I'm getting ousted by my own son! All I could do was just stand there, snapping at air for a moment.

In the evenings, Lucas looks upon it as one of his "rights" or perhaps duties (as the surrogate parent that is), to do whatever is in his power to get Liam up to his room and ready for bed. I am not quite sure how it happened, but it seems to me there has been a subtle shift from what I had intended as playing with Liam to Lucas feeling it is his responsibility.

Lucas makes me feel like I have to act differently towards him now, like he is more mature? Responsible? I am not sure either of those words completely works, but the point is I can feel the move into another phase of his development, and I am waiting patiently for the other wonders it will bring.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Job Search2: Networking etiquette..

On which I have a few ideas.  As my husband keeps telling me, I won't get a job by spending hours in front of the computer submitting applications to online job postings.  The best use of any job-seeker's time is spent talking to friends and acquaintances and letting them know that you are looking for a job and what your skills and interests are. So here is what I found tricky about networking: How hard to push?  Working parents are busy, so if I asked a friend, who is a working parent, about a position I had seen at their company, do I ask a second time? How soon after? And what if there is another position - do I talk about that too?  If that friend is very enthusiastic about getting more information for me on a post then I hear nothing, what then?  Is it realistic to think they'll get back to me?  I find it difficult to broach the topic again.  I might ask a second time but for me there is no third time. What do I trade in return? In the net...

10 things I have learnt about my teen and language

I have just been thinking about how my son speaks and what he says. He is 13 now and here is what I have discovered: 1. He does know some curse words, although he does not use them (at least in my hearing). I know this because he knows to switch the YouTube video he is watching when he hears one. 2. His language is tempered by having a younger sibling around (and he knows he will be in big trouble if he forgets that). 3. He gets more animated when he is around his friends and especially when he is gaming with them, and he uses a different vocabulary than regular speech (see #5). 4. I should not be annoyed if I am speaking to him and he shouts back "What?!!" The decibel level gets really, really high when he has his headset on AND he is gaming. 5. I am grateful that he uses expressions like, "What the fudge?",  "Crap" and "YOLO". Usually these are followed by the terms "Die!" or "Hackers!" or "Destroy" , bec...

Best Groom's Response Ever!

20 Years ago "On behalf of my most beautiful wife, Sally and myself, I'd like to thank you all for being here today. Special thanks go to all those of you who have worked very hard to make and arrange this event and to those of you who have traveled very long and very far to be here today. You may have noticed, on the outside, Sally and I are very different and have different backgrounds; but on the inside, Sally and I are very alike. We can relate to how each other thinks and feels - which is why we are here today. So, on behalf of my wife Sally and myself, I would like to thank Allah for bringing two like souls together despite the outer appearances, and I would also like to thank both our families for accepting the new family member so kindly despite the outer differences." True then as it is now. The paper he is holding? My hubby's hand-written notes from 20 years ago: But you want wedding pictures right?  Outside the mosque, be...