Skip to main content

The patience paradox

Maybe this seems paradoxical to just me, but I have concluded that Liam has made me a more patient parent than Lucas, even though Lucas was the one who needed more from me.

In hindsight, it seemed that Lucas (at 2-3) required a degree of patience from me that was out of my reach so eventually I stopped trying. Whenever he was distressed, my best efforts to comfort, distract or re-direct him, usually didn't work. There didn't seem to be anything I could actively do to help him over the rough spots. In fact, whatever I did seemed to make it worse. So all our efforts were directed at managing him so closely (hence the schedules) that he never got himself (and us) into a state.

Liam is different. I know if I just hang in there, hold him and comfort him, work through whatever it might be, he will calm down and be happy baby again. So I extend myself, grit my teeth and be patient with him. (I also keep repeating in my head, ' He is not Lucas, He is not Lucas..') But anyway, we don't manage Liam as closely and by extension we are more flexible with him.

Is it different because I don't have to rush off to work with Liam? I don't have hard deadlines with him? I don't know. All I know is that I'll leave Liam in the bedroom watching Wiggles while I go into the kitchen only to have him come out to me and give me a leg-hug, "I missed you Mama."

Worth any amount of teeth-gritting!
Labels:

Comments

Savi said…
I know what you mean. My two show the same contrast in personality. With no 1 we were walking on eggs, because if she lost her temper, nothing we could do would calm her down - all we could do was wait out the storm. No 2 has his grumpy times but he can almost always be reasoned with. It makes life much simpler.

(Now that she's much older, no 1 has turned into a lovely, reasonable person, by the way. But the preschool years were hard work.)
11 September 2009 at 11:37
Austin Trini said…
He he, maybe #1 is a test to prove we are worthy to parent a 2nd? Like S, Lucas is great...now ;)
11 September 2009 at 13:01
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I wish...

This post is my one rant to looking back (I've been told by my doctors not to), but I've justified it to myself by deciding if it makes one person make a different choice, then that's fine with me.  So now that I know what I know, what do I wish? I wish I understood that when a mammogram comes back negative, it does not necessarily mean that they examined all the tissue and they were able to see clearly that nothing was there (a true negative). It could also mean, they've looked and they cannot distinguish normal from tumour tissue (inconclusive).  So ladies, when the radiologist tells you "Ma'am you've got dense breasts", know that it means they can't see a darned thing. If you think something is going wrong, press for an alternative diagnostic tool or monitor yourself more closely in the coming months knowing that the mammogram you just had that said negative, really said, "We don't know".  Oh..and enlist the aid of a specialist ...
5 comments
Read more

Fitness Photo Shoot

Fitness after stage III breast cancer Plank on ball in silhouette Why a fitness shoot? I am not a fitness model, nor am I ripped like one, but I wanted to do a fitness shoot for a few different reasons: 1. As a reminder of how far I have come At the 5-year anniversary of my diagnosis of stage III breast cancer, it seemed a good time to remind myself how far I have come since I went through the trauma of diagnosis and treatment. That no matter how low I felt at the time, I came through it. Not all my sisters made it and many are still struggling today (shout out to my IV-leagers - those living with stage IV,  EVERY DAY). 2. As a reminder of how much the body can do It is a moment for me to acknowledge that while there are things I still cannot do, there are things I could not do when I first started lifting weights, that I can do now and THAT is amazing to me. When I first started weight lifting maybe I could do shoulder presses with 7.5 lbs, now I can do more t...
17 comments
Read more

Job Search2: Networking etiquette..

On which I have a few ideas.  As my husband keeps telling me, I won't get a job by spending hours in front of the computer submitting applications to online job postings.  The best use of any job-seeker's time is spent talking to friends and acquaintances and letting them know that you are looking for a job and what your skills and interests are. So here is what I found tricky about networking: How hard to push?  Working parents are busy, so if I asked a friend, who is a working parent, about a position I had seen at their company, do I ask a second time? How soon after? And what if there is another position - do I talk about that too?  If that friend is very enthusiastic about getting more information for me on a post then I hear nothing, what then?  Is it realistic to think they'll get back to me?  I find it difficult to broach the topic again.  I might ask a second time but for me there is no third time. What do I trade in return? In the net...
4 comments
Read more