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Where has my sweet baby gone?

That would be Lucas. He recently told me that they discussed bullying in school, so if I was in any doubt that he was moving into a new phase of life, this confirmed it. He is moving into the 8-12 yr phase where bullying and such things occur (and this precedes the teen-adolescent phase).

Lucas doesn't want to go to the ladies' bathroom with me anymore, so as he becomes more independent we've had to have the "good touch/bad touch" discussion. This is still ongoing ('The Right Touch', 'It's My Body').

I had only recently restarted reading parenting books after a fairly long hiatus (I just finished 'Raising Cain' and 'The Trouble With Boys' before that). They discuss many factors affecting boys, and while the father is by no means the only important element in raising boys, it is a significant one. In their book 'Raising Cain', the authors say, "It is clear to us that the most emotionally resourceful and resilient boys are those whose fathers are part of the emotional fabric of the family, whose fathers care for them and show it in comforting, consistent ways."

And I see it. The difference between how Lucas reacts to me and to my husband is like night and day. His behaviour is totally different even for the same things! I mean, I know I am clueless about being a boy, but I seriously need help (hence my reading).

One of my male cousins recently told me that around 8, when his older sisters started secondary school (middle school), he was "left out in the dark", because they were close and did everything together, and suddenly they weren't there anymore. He was forced to grow up into a "real" boy and he saw those years a gap between being a child and a young boy. I found this comment interesting because the books talk about exactly this divide (my words). Just when he needed help bridging the gap between child and young boy, his emotional support system (his sisters), were themselves moving on. Unsurprisingly, he turned to his peers.

Again, recently, we talked about a story Lucas had read, 'Willie's Not the Hugging Kind', so we chatted a bit about whether he would continue to hug and kiss me at school (as he does now) if he was teased about it. Right away his answer came back, "Hug home!"

Oh my... what else is going to change in the years ahead? What can I look forward to?
Let's see... "Say 'No' to drugs", puberty -only a short 4-5 years away, and....Ohhh my head hurts.

What am I doing blogging? I need to get me some more books!!

p.s. You can find me on Goodreads where you will see reviews of some of the books I blog about.
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G said…
Funny... when I read the title I thought the post would be about Liam because he's growing up fast, too!
22 September 2009 at 11:40
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