Cancer Survivor, writing about Health and Fitness as you age

On which I have a few ideas.  As my husband keeps telling me, I won't get a job by spending hours in front of the computer submitting applications to online job postings.  The best use of any job-seeker's time is spent talking to friends and acquaintances and letting them know that you are looking for a job and what your skills and interests are. So here is what I found tricky about networking: How hard to push?  Working parents are busy, so if I asked a friend, who is a working parent, about a position I had seen at their company, do I ask a second time? How soon after? And what if there is another position - do I talk about that too?  If that friend is very enthusiastic about getting more information for me on a post then I hear nothing, what then?  Is it realistic to think they'll get back to me?  I find it difficult to broach the topic again.  I might ask a second time but for me there is no third time. What do I trade in return? In the networking scheme of thin

It's been a long time since I've posted anything on my blog, so I thought I'd kick-start my new resolve by posting about something that I enjoy.  Yes, I am a Smallville fan. For those who are not familiar with Superman lore, Smallville is the name of the place that Superman grew up as the adopted child of Johnathon and Martha Kent. The show, Smallville, tells the story of young Kal El on his way to becoming Superman.  It is in it's 10th and final season (yes, it's been running for 10 years), with the same lead actor (Tom Welling).  The premise of the show is very simple - What was it like to be superhuman and grow up amongst humans? What was it like to know you are different and to always have to hide your true self? To know you are destined for great things, that you are "chosen" in some way, but not quite sure how to fulfill your destiny? To be desperate to find your everlasting love, but not knowing whether or not you will recognise it? To strugg

I feel that I've earned the right to comment on the differences I've noticed between my working mom friends (I do still have a few working-mom friends that I occasionally meet) and my home mom friends.  And what might those be you ask? Sent from my iphone My work mom friends would respond to questions via email on their smartphones.  Their lack of relevance and coherence could be blamed on the fact that they were most likely on a conference call when they responded or else were too much in a hurry to properly read or listen to my message.  My home mom friends? Well while some do respond via smartphone, their lack of relevance and coherence could be blamed squarely on at least one kid clawing at them as they're trying to have a conversation, electronic or otherwise. Our conversation Surprisingly, to me at least, the kind of conversation I have with my work mom friends and with my home mom friends are different.  I talk endlessly with my home mom friends

The elusive textbook. Lucas comes home with various worksheets to do as homework, and as I look at the work, I can get an idea of what they are doing in school, but it is not the same as having the textbook at home with me to look at the ideas, presentation, examples, etc. contained in the books. Right now, I can help him with his homework, but even so, I find that I am very cautious when clarifing a point to him because I don't want to get him confused.  What if I am telling him something different than what he learnt in school? How do I know the "right", "better" or "current" approach to the topic?  This school system where the kids have textbooks in school, but do not own them or don't bring them home with them, makes me very uncomfortable because I'm not confident that I know what they are covering in class or how.  I was thinking about this because of recent confusion in the schools (in Texas) about history texts and what they inclu

This post is about how we carry things around with us that we may not even realise, so even though I will be talking about my job search, it is really about what my search revealed about the emotional baggage I was carrying with me. When I first came to the US from my little Caribbean island, I stuck with working for big companies (and by big, I mean internationally-recognized names). When I started my job search this time around, I started in the same place - looking at big companies. This, even though I learnt so much and made so many friends from the only small company I've worked for in town - NetQoS, the best small company I could find at the time.  I still went back to look into big companies.  Now why is that? It has taken me many, many years to figure it out, but I had an epiphany this time around.  The bottom line is when my parents and my family ask me where I work, I want to be able to say a name that they recognize. I want them to be proud of me, and they don't

I love it when Liam shows me by his actions and his words that he is attached to me, it makes me feel warm and full, but not when it is 2:00 am, or when I am about to leave for Book Club and he is begging me to stay. Liam has just turned three and is very attached to me, and most times I don't mind, but sometimes, I wish he would be less attached. I remember when we (and by this I mean me), were looking into the idea of a family bed or co-sleeping before he was born.  There were some who felt that the closeness and always being there when your child needed you made your child very secure and was reassuring.  Now that he is 3 I wonder if him wanting me, and me staying when he wants is simply reinforcing a bad habit.  My doctor would say "Yes!". It is the same action, (him wanting me around)  but the view of the action and my reaction could be different depending on which camp I'm in. So should I continue to reassure him for as long as he needs? Or do I just rat

Here's what I've found: The pitch .  "Have you always been in the top 5% of your class?"  Ok, so I saw this on one company's job/career site.  Now this just rubbed me the wrong way.  I can't begin to articulate the flood of feeling that I got just reading it...and now writing it.. The question.   "If you could meet some famous person from history, who would it be and why?"  Is this a trick question or an essay submission for a test?  I found it hard to figure out the link between my choice and my abilities related to the job, so perhaps I am not so clever as they are.  I guess I need to move on. Polygraph test. Are you kidding me??  " TS/SCI/ Full Scope Lifestyle Polygraph (Only for Cleared Positions)"  Yeah, scratch that one off the list. Are you a customer ?  Ok, so this was on the career site of one telecom company.  So, I'm in fact not a customer.  Should I just stop there?  Maybe if you hire me and I like you, I

This post is about what the reviewers didn't tell you, so I'm going to ignore all the furore about the ethnic representations in the movie and the acting abilities of the cast.   I, or rather "we", Lucas and I, fall into the camp of those patrons who have seen the entire animated series.  Be warned. Book 1.   So how come none of these adult reviewers cared to mention that this was "Book 1" ?  Did they not understand what that meant?  For us it meant that we had a pretty good idea of what we were going to see, and likely where it ended.  And as far as the ethnicity goes, well, Lucas didn't notice anything unusual. Names .  This is by far the biggest mark against the movie.  Why didn't they pronounce the names correctly??!!  Lucas and I cringed every time they said Aang. They pronounced Aang as "ung" vs "ang" as in "bang".  Aarrggh!!.   They pronounced Sokka as "soak-ah" instead of "sock-ah"

Indoor Soccer What occurs at our house on very hot or very rainy days.  Imagine the possibilities. Flies Next year I am hosting a "Fly-Swatting Competition".  All are welcome and I mean that.  I've been driven by the rudeness of the flies this year - they fly slowly, almost drunkenly by me daring me to swat them and they rest on the fly swatter itself! The nerve! I'll show them who's boss. The Afternoon Nap That would be mine.  On the infrequent occasion I take one, I usually wake up disoriented, slow and lethargic.  And how is that different from any other day? I  am less bad-tempered than usual. Back to School Not a moment too soon.

You'd think that the smoke coming from my ears and nose would be a sure hint to my children NOT to aggravate me.  And if not, then for sure the wide, crazed eyes and the clenched teeth should tell them something.  Maybe I need to write an instruction manual: "How to read your Mama". You'd think after being hurt by or punished for something two times already, there wouldn't be a third.  What can I say? It appears that some children need more experiences than others to cement learning. You'd think that if I'm taking them to do something they enjoy, I wouldn't have to say scream four times: "Change and get in the car!"  Obviously what they are doing at the present time is more "funner" than any planned activity. You'd think that as an adult, I'd be better able to let go of the trials my children put me through and not let things fester.  I guess despite my advanced age, I still have some maturing to do.

That was the first question that friends asked when I told them I was going back to work. The simple answer is that we would have to make choices that we are not prepared to, in order for me to stay at home. And what choices would those be? Well, it really boils down to just one - private school for Lucas. If we put Lucas back into public school (or homeschool), I can continue to stay at home.  So, even if I could see myself surviving 1 year of homeschooling Lucas, what about the following year and the year after that?  And what about Liam?  Good grief - there is only so much stress I can handle.  Besides, I can imagine that after homeschooling, public school will become less and less appealing in terms of challenge.  So, homeschooling would be indefinite and I've already said enough on public school. Why did I stay home in the first place? When we first made to decision for me to stay home, it was borne of necessity - Liam was getting so sick in daycare so

So this post is not about the horrors of vacationing with children, it's more about what is a family vacation anyway?  Having just returned from ours to the beach, I got to thinking about this on the long trip back home.  To me, the family vacation has two components: 1. The family should vacation together (see how insightful this is?) and 2. The family should decide on the family vacation together So, despite the fact that for me, the two components of a vacation are without kids and without kitchen, that doesn't qualify as a family vacation.  The second criterion I was forced to acknowledge because I found myself having to cajole my kids too many times to venture out to the beach with me.  What if they decided on the family vacation?...Hmmmm. So at what age does a child earn the ability to have a say in vacation destination and activities (within constraints of course)?  I figure that in about 4 years time, Liam will be 7 and able to make sensible choices. Lucas

My husband recently showed me an article about swimming in the Wall Street Journal .  The article references a report that shows "70% of African-American children and 58% of Hispanic children have little or no swimming ability, compared with 40% of Caucasian children."  The article says that the biggest barrier to learning to swim is not resources, but parents' fear of water. Whether the parent is afraid of the water, or whether they are fearful that their children may drown so they keep them away from the water, it would seem to me to be the exact reason to ensure your child can swim.  How? Why would a parent choose to saddle their children with their own fears?  It is quite incomprehensible to me.  (Although I am sure I do it in other things.) I could not swim as a child and I remember having to stay in the shallow end of the pool while friends and family were frolicking in the deep. I felt isolated and left out until I dreaded going to the pool.  A

Just headlining it so you can ignore this post as you like. I've explained my difficulties with the public school system back in 2008 , but I figured since Lucas has now completed one year in private school, I've earned the right to another post.  So, what have I learnt over this past year? Broad spectrum Yes, rather self-evident, but there is a broad spectrum of how parents feel about education and parents may make choices that appear conflicting. For example, I have had one mother tell me that they believe in a public school education for their children. But then in the other breath, tells me that her son is doing Kumon Math after school, and extra Math over the holidays and extra reading to get his reading up 2-grade levels (ahead of where he's supposed to be). We, on the other hand, believe that except for homework and supplemental projects that Lucas might be interested in, school is for school and home is for play. I had extra lessons when I was in primary (ele

This is my update post on things that you may not have been hearing much about recently. First up, summer camp. First Day Science Camp (to Lucas) "So what did you do today?" "We learnt about cells" He hands me a model of  a cell - a round, clear plastic container with stuff floating around in a clear liquid. Me pointing to something in it, "So, what's this? Is this the nucleus?" "No!", looks at me, "It's a cotton ball."  My Writing I've scaled back my ambitions to writing something very small that I can complete. A book for my 2-yr old. Well, I've finished the words and I am trying very hard to get time to illustrate it (at least roughly), for my own benefit to see how it could work. And that is where I've been for a few weeks. I did a few sketches and realized that I need to do some more. An illustrator I am not. My Vitiligo It's been a while since my last post about my condition. Since then,

I've blogged before about some of the things that an immigrant gives up to come to this land of opportunity, and I really felt that deeply earlier this year.  My husband had "minor" sinus surgery which unfortunately was scheduled for 6:30 am (with arrival time at 5:30 am).  We don't have family here, and I wasn't able to get my babysitter to look after the kids so eventually a friend of ours took G to the surgery and I went after I'd dropped the kids off that morning at a more sane hour. So a couple of points: "Minor" is in quotes because it required general anaesthesia.  Now where I'm originally from, that's something there is a chance you never wake up from, so any statement about "minor" and "general anaesthesia" is a total contradiction.  I felt so helpless knowing that I couldn't be there for my husband. He totally didn't get why I was willing to completely mess up the kids' routine so I c

Liam has the habit of asking "Why?" for everything he comes across. Why, who, what... Lucas never asked questions, so maybe Liam is making up for it? I can't get a break from the questions, you know, where you answer the question and then his response is "Why?" and so on and so on.  It's like he's creating fishbone diagrams in his head.  Sad to say, sometimes I get so tired of answering that I just don't answer or I give a "That's just how it is" answer.  Many parents of pre-schoolers and beyond would be familiar with this phenomenon.  Here are just a few of the questions I answer on a daily basis: (and the fact that I've answered them once doesn't preclude me having to answer them again...and again) Why do I have to wash the soap off? Why does it rain? Will the thunder fall on my head? Why can't we hit the big truck? Why do we have to put gas (in the car) ? Why can't I peel it (the paint in the garage) off? W

Some time ago I had posted my 5 truisms on parenting (with additional contributions from friends), and I thought I'd move on to another 5 - hence 5 more truisms!  Here goes: I consider myself lucky if I get even 1/2 the things on my shopping list if I have Liam in tow.  (I, at least have reached the stage where I don't forget my groceries, credit card, receipt, etc.). The mess in the house is directly proportional to the amount of fun the kids have playing. Just when you think you have your child well-trained, she shows you who is boss by getting sick, being cranky, refusing to nap, waking up in the night. Take your pick. Nobody knows how to push your buttons and make you lose your mind like your kids.  How do they do that? Life with children is filled with drama.  Feel free to add your own, maybe some truisms of parenting girls? Or boys?

"Stop it!"  "No!" "Don't do that!"  "Will you be quiet?!!"  "Go upstairs to your room!" "Well he started it!" "Why can't I get to watch the TV show that I want?" "Mom, he's bothering me" "Take turns I said!" "Liam! Stop it! You'll hurt brother!" "Lucas! Stop it! You'll hurt brother!" Why am I the only adult on the playscape? Hmmm. And why am I the only adult squeezing through this tiny tube in the bouncy castle?  Hmmmm. It's not even the summer vacation.  By the time the kids move out of the house, I'll have the patience of Job. As with all parent-child relationships, sometimes things go well, and then other times, well not so much. Right now, our current hurdle is being respectful.  In choice of words, tone and listening. It's an uphill battle, and not only because I have a sinking feeling that my child must be getting this fr

I overheard a mom telling her, maybe 4-year old, not to watch T.V - this was on the way to dropping him off at the gym childcare.  You'd be pleased to know that I restrained both my voice and my eyebrows in response to this obviously ludicrous suggestion: That a 4-year old would be able to restrain himself if the television is on and his mother wasn't there and That the childcare staff would actually care I wasn't however able to restrain myself at a recent birthday party where a father sat his maybe 18-month son on the edge of a sandbox and told the poor tyke "You can play but you are not to go in."  I told the dad that he was evil, but I don't think I helped. Aside from those observations, it did get me thinking about the parenting style that says, "The kids have to learn the word 'No' " and the style that says, "I don't want to have to keep saying 'No' all the time, so I'll just not expose them to thin

Today is Earth Day, so what am I doing about it? Well, now that it is getting warmer and sunnier here in Austin, I decided I needed to get me a clothes line. I now have that, but the forecast is rain for the next few days and not really any good clothes-drying weather.  But anyway, it got me to thinking about all the hype about the ability of an individual to effect change. I got seriously afraid that this whole effort is akin to how my husband views our budget: "Honey, it's not the $15 we spent on McDonalds that's the problem - it's the big things."  Ok, I may have ahem...underestimated the spending on those particular food items, but the point is the same.  Can I, as a person, really make a change in the overall prognosis for Earth? Are the small changes I am making good and beneficial, but at the end of the day not significant enough, because it is the bigger fish (whole industries, companies, governments), that would truly make an impact? I was listeni

Usually shopping with Liam consists of following behind him and putting back whatever he picks up, or taking things out of his hands. Sometimes, it is entertaining, as long as I don't plan on getting any shopping done.  Like a recent trip to get towels.   I take a quick look at Liam and there he is trying to figure out how to put on a yellow and black, polka-dot halter-top bikini. Hmmm.. we're not in the main aisle, so noone can really see him. I'll just let him play for a bit, so I can look around. I look back.  Oh my, he's got the neck under one arm and one of the cups on his shoulder.  That's funny! I look at the bottoms that go with the tunic top I've been looking at.  Oh good grief! Pull-on, elastic-waist pants?! I need to get a life! We move on to towels after he gets tired playing around with the bikini top. " You have to come down from there." "Why?" "Well this isn't a playground. These shelves aren't f

Some time ago I had blogged about the headache of what to do with roadside beggars.  Do I give something to them or not? ( children-makes-my-head-hurt ) In the end we found something that works for us. A friend of ours is involved in charity work and suggested we prepare some gallon bags of stuff that might be useful for a homeless person and then give those out in lieu of money.  It worked great! I got my little helpers involved and got quite a few bags ready, so my husband and I each  have a couple of bags in the car that we can hand out at anytime.  The items have to have a long shelf life and should be able to withstand the temperatures of your environment. Here's what we put: 2 nutrigrain or granola bars 2 bags of cookies 2 bags of Chips 2 juice boxes 1 pair of socks You can change it up and put raisins, individual boxed cereals, pop tarts, crispy treats, etc. Some folks also include a small gift card redeemable only at the grocery (<$10).  In the end, it work

I go to a chain shop to get my hair cut  - when I stop wearing my hair in a pony-tail or up in a clip, I'll graduate to a "salon".  But anyway, I overheard one of the hairdressers saying to a customer, "I am showing you these products because I have to."  Apparently, they are required to display and sell different hair care products to their customers, including their own brand. By contrast, the guy who was trimming my hair had a bit more finesse. "You have beautiful hair."  For my age? Because is still mostly on my head?  Because I know my hair is not particularly lustrous. "What kind of shampoo do you use?" "Pantene" "That's a good product,"   Smart, he didn't want to suggest that I made a poor choice in my existing shampoo. "..but it is not a salon brand." Ahhh...the implication was clear. "Your hair is a little dry, but if you want to upgrade, you should try one of ours."  Up

Most recently, it is because they boxed me in where I was parked at the Science Center in Austin. So there were cars all around me and just enough space for my car to squeeze through the space between the 2 cars parked to my right, facing each other, provided I had another driver to watch me come out because it was so close. Did I mention it was lunch time, and I had the 2 kids and we'd already spent almost 2 hours at the Science Center?  I'll let you think about that a moment.  My blood pressure went up when I saw what had happened.  It goes without saying that I wanted to cry.  Why would I think women drivers were involved? Well...I think only a woman would not notice that I would be boxed in and then park right in front of me so I couldn't get out.  Oblivious is what I call it. In addition, they get on their cell phones as they are backing out of a parking lot. Me - I am terrified I hit something or worse, someone's child, so a parking lot is the one place I es

I've previously blogged about my state trying to find a group of girlfriends here in Austin , so I thought I'd provide an update on my quest to surround myself with peeps who are actually available to go to the neighbourhood coffee shop and sit down and chat.  Well, I had made friends with another mom whose son had just started at Lucas' new school.  We would try to have a chat, without children, once a week. Well, they decided to move to Utah after the first term.  Another mom I met through my mom's group who I would meet up separately with and actually have a conversation about what is going on in life, moved too. Not out of state, but far enough where I can't meet her for coffee either.  Hmmmmm. So, my plan has been to crash other peoples' socials.  I went to a playgroup I didn't belong to but was being hosted by a neighbour, that worked out just great!  A little social time, play time for Liam.  I invited another neighbour out to see a movie...on her g

Or in basic Trini: "Good t'ing no cheap, cheap t'ing no good". I was reminded of this recently when Lucas showed me his language homework, "Mama wears a swetter every day."  Aside from him telling his class that his Mama is perpetually cold, it would have been even more accurate to say, "Mama wears the same swetter every day". (Thank goodness he's a boy and doesn't notice these things.)  You see it's because I got this really cheap sweater that I like, it keeps me very warm and because it was so cheap I don't care when Liam spills substances which will remain unnamed on it (or in my case, I spill drops of bleach). Hence, ironically, I save my most expensive stuff to wear infrequently (and then it goes out of style, it can't fit anymore or my tastes change), but by golly those cheap things in my closet - boy do they get a workout!  As it turns out, cheap is good in this context. So in conclusion, I will continue to wear my

YD77UJ5R58XH   In case you were wondering, whatever happened to TheNewMe..well, I'll tell you.  My day job got in the way of my blogging.  The family consumed an inordinate amount of time and attention over the holidays, as evidenced by my Christmas wish list:      1. Two consecutive nights of uninterrupted sleep and oh yeah,      2.  World peace.  Yes, me getting sleep is right up there with world peace...in my mind that is. But, on with the New Year, Happy New Year, all the best...etc, etc. On the subject of lists, here are my New Year's Resolutions: Yes, you read that right - nothing.  I figure if there isn't a good 80% chance of me succeeding, I'm not going to make a list (you know, of things like exercise, eat well, don't sweat the small stuff, give more), hence the (blank) list.  I have also heard that when you write things down and tell other people, you are more likely to do it, so I am covering my bases - hence the (blank) list.  I'm still g