Cancer Survivor, writing about Health and Fitness as you age

This is the second "Cancer by the Numbers" post, the first was about blood counts . We have been trying to eat organic fruits and vegetables as much as we can, to reduce the pesticide levels we injest. I will publish another post about cancer and food, but for now I thought I'd share the cost of organic vs not organic based on a quick poll of my local grocery (HEB).  We had cut out meat prior to my diagnosis of cancer (ever since reading The China Study ) so perhaps the decline in spending in meat is offset by the more pricey organic items! The graph below shows the increase, as a percentage of the non-organic price, that I pay for common items that I buy. While the actual dollar amounts may not be significant individually, I can tell you that I really feel it on my grocery bill when I buy blueberries! If you feel you want to buy organic, but want to spend the dollars on those items where it makes a difference, take a look at the  Environmental Working

But first a quick update. I have now completed 22 cycles of radiation (week 29) and I am thankfully on a break for Christmas. I have some issues I need to work through but nothing horrible. In the meantime, my hair is growing back, unfortunately it is also growing in places that I would prefer it NOT grow. (And I'd thank you for not mentioning my newly acquired fuzzy sideburns - yaay chemo!) I am also trying to improve my diet, not that I had very bad habits before, but I am increasing the amount of vegetables in my diet and have to deal with the attendant side effects that come with consuming copious quantities of highly gassy foods. But enough of that, on to joy. I was recently watching a movie, The Bucket List , and I thought I'd share the two questions that the characters (facing death) reflect on in the movie: Do you have joy in your life? Or, alternatively, look for the joy in your life. Did you bring joy to others? So over this holiday season those might be som

There was a young lady with cancer, a diagnosis to give you an ulcer. It was an unplanned marathon, of chemo, surgery and radiation all in hopes it's the answer. Chemo is over and surgery is done, she's on the next step of radiation. She burns, swells and is going red "Inflammation" is what the doc said. Sore and pained, she's so ready for fun! Regardless of pain, she goes sun or rain. Treatment is every day to help the cancer go away. It's enough to drive one insane. 33 days the trip must be made, "Make it work" she prayed. 13 complete, 20 to go, the end is far you know. A hard path to walk unafraid. In the room with big machines She lays, imagining peaceful scenes. She takes the radiation, without hesitation to see her kids reach their teens.

When my mother died from breast cancer , I spent a long time going over the same questions in my mind. How could this have happened? I could have helped, why didn't I? Why didn't I ask for details about her health, about tests she'd had or should have had?  Why didn't I probe more? Why didn't I take better care of her? In the end, I concluded that I didn't ask those questions because I was the child of my mom, she was the parent and I expected my parents to take care of themselves. I didn't think I had to take care of them. So, at what point does a child assume the responsibility for taking care of their parent? What is that trigger or signal that says, "It's time to be in charge of mom or dad". Unfortunately it seems to me that  there is no real "time" (bar an event in which the parent is incapacitated), but is more of a sliding scale. The slider starts out with the child not being responsible and then moves over to greater and

I know there is probably a lot of research about the implications of the age gap between siblings but I wanted to share a few of my observations. Lucas is 6 years older than Liam. We didn't actually choose that big of a gap, it just worked out that way. In the beginning, Liam was so much smaller than Lucas that everything went well. Lucas played with his very baby brother as a big kid would play with a little kid. There was a gap in language, physical skill and size that made the difference between the boys clear. Now that Liam has more verbal skills, can have a conversation, is bigger and can "fight" with his big brother it is a different story. Now we are seeing the downsides of the big gap. The plus of the big gap: Lucas was independent enough not to require much attention when Liam was a baby. Allowing us to focus on the new baby. Lucas was old enough to help with Liam (bring clothes, diapers, etc.) and was able to understand when we had to leave reading with hi

Have you ever compared a book that your child has read with a book from your own childhood that you read when you were your child's age? Well I have and I can tell you I can better understand the attraction my son's books have for him and the reason for his disdain when I mention the books I read as a child. As you can see from my bookshelf, I have been reading quite a bit of books my older son is reading. He is 10 and we are reading books for the 9-12 age range.This means I've been through Harry Potter and working my way through Rick Riordon's Lightning Thief series, but I am still behind. Lucas enjoys fantasy and the books are usually fast-paced, with traces of humour, and although they deal with good vs evil issues, generally the plots are simple and don't make me stay awake at night. I don't need adult thriller fiction to keep me interested, in fact, better not since some adult books are quite gory. When I was growing up I read a ton of Enid Blyton, a

So here is what I know/have come to know so far: I have successfully completed the first 3 of 33 radiation treatments scheduled. I have 30 minutes added to my daily moisturizing routine to account for the creams I need to apply to my skin to reduce the radiation effects.. While my radiation oncologist has told me that their equipment does not really have much scatter (a maximum of 2 millimetres), all the technicians leave the room when the beams go on. I have breast tissue in my back, and by "I" I really mean you too. So if you hug yourself, tissue extends to where your hands can reach around under your arms and over the top of your shoulder, so that area needs to be irradiated too. The lead "mats" you see at the dentist, used to protect the rest of you when you have x-rays, won't stop these rays. In addition to the actual radiation treatment I have to have, I also have additional x-rays each week in addition to the 33 radiation treatments. In addition to

To all of you who celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you have a wonderful holiday with loved ones. We are having a very quiet Thanksgiving and in fact,this year is the first year we actually had a traditional Thanksgiving holiday as most people in the US would celebrate (I imagine). We even went around the table saying what we were thankful for. The boys don't have the hang of it yet, but I am hopeful it will come. The first of a tradition for us. As you can imagine, this year is one of much reflection for my husband and myself. This year, we've also started another tradition: family game night. Initially it started with lots of steam, but seemed to have fizzed out a bit, but we'll keep plugging along. Once we start playing a game, the kids actually seem to enjoy it (and not miss TV and/or video games - but you'll never hear them admit that). Short post today - hug your loved ones, give them a call and my heart goes out to those of you who do not have them close.

Last week was a very busy week - I had follow ups with my oncologist, surgeon, radiation oncologist and I had my first physical therapy session. But first, the surgeon. So what did they find? The surgeon decided to remove 4 lymph nodes, all of which tested negative for cancer - a tremendous relief for us. This is significant. As had been seen in the MRI, the pathology confirmed the shrinkage of the tumour and the surgeon had clear margins (that is, no cancer around the excision site). All good. The surgeon said everything was healing up quite nicely and at the appointment removed my drains. (After surgery, the surgeon leaves tubes attached to the surgery site that drain into plastic containers shaped like grenades. It drains lymphatic fluid and prevents infection.) The care and management of those drains (I had 4), while not painful in themselves was a very big hassle. The process of checking the drains, changing dressings, wrapping bandages etc., all without having the kids s

Well, let me tell you, these past two weeks have been very very difficult for me, but not for the reasons you may think. The week of my surgery my older son was suspended for a week from school for bullying. Feel free to skip this post, because it is all downhill from here. I don't know how to describe how distressing this was, for the other family involved and for us. It would have been easier if my son was the one being picked on. To put it in context, this was more upsetting to me than hearing the diagnosis of cancer from my doctor those months ago. Really. I expected better of big son. To be the parent of a bully is a terrible thing. (I am ok not having a discussion about where we went wrong. As you can well imagine we've had a few of those already.) We first learned he was picking on another child shortly before my surgery and there was insufficient time between learning what was happening and suspension to successfully address the issue with Lucas. Hardly surprisi

If you don't see your cards/flowers or dishes..sorry about that, but I got it and I am grateful to you too!  From all my mommy friends who've sent me stuff! And then some!  These here? From my badger-peeps!  Flowers on the right? Big 'ole bunch from client services.  Just a few of the cards I've received - full of inspiration, hope, good thoughts and prayers. The stockpile of tupperware I have from all the goodies that came home to me. And which must leave my house.

I thought it would be interesting to share a picture of those damn blood counts since I talked so much about it to everyone who cared to ask. The really rough stuff wipes out your white blood cells and your immunity along with it. In the picture you can see the almost complete wipe out when I get my chemo, the above normal reading when I got the shots to help increase the WBC and the normal range. The Taxol (not-so-rough-stuff), results in a more gradual decline in WBC. The AC treatments were every two weeks, so AC1 was the count before the 1st round, AC2 shows the counts (but no chemo was administered that week) and AC3 shows the blood counts before chemo. The Taxol was every week, so the counts reflect the values before chemo that day.   And what about the red blood cells? From the picture, I was already on the low end of normal. I got Aranesp shots to boost the RBC (resulting in the upward trend on graph). For good measure I've also included the haemoglobin trend whi

Last year, when I was thinking about what to do for my milestone birthday (it is also a milestone year for my husband and brother), a bilateral mastectomy wasn't on my list. However, I am inclined to look at this as having given myself a gift of insurance - insurance against future recurrence. This week has been a week that is blurred in my mind. I am at home recovering now and so far so good. I will meet with my oncologist in a couple of weeks and we can pore over the pathologist's report in detail. For now, preliminary results are very positive. I have to admit to a degree of self-pity for what I have lost and what I am unable to do for myself (not to mention how I look with tubes hanging out of me), but I know others who have gone through this and come out so much more magnificent for it and they are my inspiration. For the survivors out there, know that you have touched the lives of so many women and because of you, the rest of us are open to the possibilities. Happy

This week the oncologist felt that I had done enough chemo- I was not going to get Cycle 11 and Cycle 12.  I've talked before about the effects of the chemo on my fingers, but you know it is a sad situation when you knot your pyjama bottoms and then can't untie it to go to the bathroom. No more chemotherapy for me. Yay?  Yes, a bit of an anti-climax, but I still get to ring the "end-of-chemo" bell and get confetti thrown on me by my chemo nurses. My doctor also had in her hand the results of my post-chemotherapy MRI and it showed that there was a reduction in the tumour, it looked less dense than before and above all it looks like the volume of the tumour decreased by about 75%. Yay to that for sure! Considering I didn't feel that anything was changing I was very happy about the result. Next on my list: surgery. She said that although my blood counts are low in some areas, she felt that if I wanted to have surgery that day, I was well enough to do it. Me? We

Yes, I completed cycle 10, but I may not do 11,12. The pain in my fingers is not going away, and since most people only get about 10 cycles, we think that may have been my last. I will confirm with my doctor on Tuesday whether or not I get one last cycle (#11), but either way, there isn't going to be #12. What that means - I am done with chemo, potentially - Yaaay! But surgery is a lot closer - Boo! But I can finally get this thing out of me - Yaaay! And I've just had a follow-up MRI, so I am waiting on the results of that - Boo! Regardless, I am counting step 1 of 3 complete (or almost). Surgery is step 2, Radiation is step 3. So what have my Tuesdays been like? I've had friends give me a lift these past few cycles because the Benadryl that I get leaves me feeling very woozy. If things run late I get home by 1:30pm or 2:00pm (after being at the doctor since 9-ish). If things run smoothly, I am done by 12:30pm. Either way, it is a long day. I get home and I get into my

Where have I been? It has been a very hectic two weeks. My brother was visiting for one week, so there wasn't much  time for blogging (even though I didn't do too much with him).   It was a busy two weeks at school for my older one as well, but this coming week should be a bit slower. I know I need the routine. On the kid front I am gaining ground on the discipline issue and the kids are doing well. I am shouting less, which makes everyone happy. So, how did the last two cycles of chemo go? Much like the rest, however for sure I do have some additional symptoms or maybe it is more pronounced. Side Effects My eyelashes are gone and almost all of my eyebrows. I've also been more bold about being bald - if you come to my house, you run the risk of seeing me bald, but I've recently come into a bag of hats, so I may have something I feel like putting on. I don't know.  Just be prepared. I have more pain around my nails now, so opening tupperware, chips/crisps pack

Another two-in-one post. I think this may be considered my "challenge" post.  The good news is that I have now completed 7 of 12 cycles, so I am looking at the end of chemotherapy. As I look back on my initial post , I realise that I had neglected a key piece of information about the kind of cancer I have.  Some women have cancers that are responsive to hormones, (quite simply, it appears that hormones make the cancer grow) and some women don't. I fall into the latter category - I am what is called triple negative. This is not a good thing. On my most recent visit with my oncologist we talked through "the numbers" that is, the survival rates and we assessed again how well my tumour is responding to chemotherapy (not as well as we'd hoped).  So these last two weeks have been quite a challenge mentally. It doesn't help that one of the side effects of all of this is a decline in disciplinary standards at our house.  Over the course of the summer I w

I've decided, largely for my own sanity and enjoyment, that perhaps I will have a short entertaining post. I will start off a list, but please feel free to add your own pet conundrums to the list. Strapless bikinis I was at the pool recently and I saw two young boys (maybe 2 and 3) with their mom at the pool frolicking around. Mom was wearing a strapless bikini. Strapless anything with two young kids confound me (or low-neck, short skirt, etc.)  Hmmm, maybe it's just MY two kids? Splenda Another reason why we don't let the kids watch "live" television. I was watching a show recently and I saw an advertisement with a woman sitting at a table with a very large bowl of very yummy strawberries. She then proceeded to empty a packet of Splenda over it. I don't think I need to say any more. Underwear Fortunately, not being the mother of young girls I don't have to manage this but I just don't get the logic of showing off straps 'n things.  It wou

This is a combined post, caused by much delinquency on my part and to some degree inertia.  In my defense though, I started going into the office 3 days a week at least. The downside is that I don't have energy for blogging once I get home, and unfortunately, there seems to be a lot of "things" that need attention right now. I haven't had too many pains this past week, but there is always something to manage with chemo and no two weeks seem to be exactly the same. In general I feel ok considering I am undergoing chemo (see Translations), but at times the feeling of exhaustion just overwhelms me. Two days after my chemo this week I felt my poor confused body trying to take a stand against the chemo poisons  (lymph nodes seemed enlarged, tiredness, etc.). Instead of spending too much time on the state of Me, I thought I'd share some thoughts on "What do I really mean?" or "Translations" and "The side-effects that keep on coming".

Righto, so when last we left our embattled TheNewMe, she was thinking "Ok - I can deal with this", well, that was cycle 2. After Cycle 3, I have to admit that I had a bit of a rough week, and perhaps more so because I had been feeling so much better (relatively speaking).   I did go into the office more days and I did try and do a bit more, but even so, I was shocked by the level of exhaustion that I felt because it was so unexpected.  Even to the point of going in my bed at 4:00pm when I got home...and staying there. Aside from that, (and I am not sure what was the culprit for this), but I had a lot of aching bones over the course of 3 days.  I don't know if you've ever felt your thigh bones ache, but I believe I have, and I wouldn't recommend it at all.  It might be yet another side effect of the chemotherapy drug that I have only just experienced, but you can be sure I'll be complaining again if I get afflicted by this after the next cycle. Fortunatel

Another late post, so this would be for last week. With this drug I seem to be doing better, which is a relief, I think it is also very reassuring for the kids to know how  I am doing and they can see I have more energy to boss them around and scold them and play and read to them, but mostly the other things. I do have some slightly different side-effects which I am managing but nothing significant. One downside of the reduced feeling of exhaustion is that I am having more difficulty going back to sleep when I wake up in the night..so I am thinking I might have to break the seal on the sleeping pills. Other than that so far so good. I did have one thing that I didn't post on the prior week's message on the first treatment. Because my red blood count is low, I had another injection to boost me up.  That was THE MOST PAINFUL INJECTION I have ever had, and I've had a few. And since the dosage I needed did not come in one syringe, I had to get TWO to make the correct dosa

Well, I am really behind on this post.  This cycle was actually last week. I started a different chemotherapy drug and I am happy to report: Very little nausea with this one, meaning I did not have to bring out the nausea meds that they prescribed for me. Compared with the prior drugs, I'd take my medicine at least 2-3 times per cycle. More energy for sure, but not so much that I can do more than one thing at a time. Especially with heat here being what it is 35C - 41C (95F-105F), just one spin in the car and I am exhausted.  Fortunately, no allergic reaction to the new drug. I had a massive dose of Benadryl, so you can imagine how coherent I was for the rest of the day. Again, it was a very long day since they are always checking for signs of reaction and they provide the dose very slowly. It didn't help that they were checking my blood pressure every 15 minutes so even though I desperately wanted to sleep, the nurse would come over and rouse me. In short, so far so good

And by dichotomy I mean the branch in the road that a person may choose to go in when confronted with any new and/or difficult situation. I also wanted to use this post to address the "You're so strong" comments I've heard time and time again. First up: To tell or keep it under wraps? Clearly I chose to tell and the reason is not as simple as I initially thought. I wanted to let people who are part of my life know why I may not be as accessible as before, why I may look or behave differently. I didn't want any friend to see me with a wig and not know why. Having come from a society that was not as open as I would have wished about situations such as cancer, I felt it important to let my cousins know that I am experiencing this -  if you have questions, ask.  I also think it was important to let people know because having no family that lives in Austin, I might need to lean on my friends here quite a bit more.  Certainly, the best choice is always the one that

Well, this recovery week was the only one where I had to ask Lucas to help get breakfast because I had such a hard time getting going in the morning. Fortunately, Lucas and Liam were very helpful (and successful) in getting themselves their own breakfasts with no spilling or fights. In prior recovery weeks, I felt well enough to go into the office by Wednesday and was usually feeling ok also on Tuesday. This recovery week I couldn't function very well Tuesday morning. After meeting with the nurse on Tuesday and reviewing my blood test results, she explained why I was so knocked out.  While the impact to the white blood cells on the treatment regimen is immediate and significant, the effect on the red blood count is more gradual, so by the 4th cycle, my red blood count had reached sufficiently low to make me feel wiped out and dizzy when standing. Nice.  By weekend again I started to perk up. So how bad was chemo?  On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being worst, I feel that most tim

This marks the end of the first set of chemotherapy drugs - I've reached a milestone!  One hurdle out of the way and on to the next. In two weeks time I start another round of chemo with a different drug and I am hopeful that I'll be able to tolerate that as well. When the treatment starts, it will be weekly for 12 weeks - that is, if I am able to take the treatments for the full 12 cycles. This week has been a little longer to pass than others, I've had to take more nausea meds than in previous cycles, but I have crossed this bridge. So this is what I look like now, getting #4 - a little pale, but still in relatively good shape.

Week 7 was actually last week, so I am a little behind. I thought I'd give a little update on where I am with a few things. About the diet . I'm supposed to be on a low glycemic diet (quite simply, more fruit and vegetables than anything else). However, between the loss of appetite and weight and the desire to consume as many calories as I can when I do have appetite, the diet really hasn't worked out. At least not like I'd like. About the recovery . When I was first told about the chemotherapy drugs and their impacts, I was told that the effects are cumulative over time.  While the side effects have not necessarily gotten worse (although I may have gotten new ones over time), I've seen the cumulative effects impact my recovery time.  After each cycle, it takes me longer to recover. About the kids . The little one is still happy, happy. However, our older son apparently had some behavioural issues at camp. So even though he wasn't saying anything to us, M

I just wanted to tie out Week 6.  No significant change in this week from prior chemo weeks, except with cycle 3 came a side effect which I hadn't see in prior cycles. (One that required me to switch out the bananas in my oatmeal for prunes, unfortunately.)  Apparently it is quite common, except I had dodged that in the first 2 cycles. Although I was tired and out of sorts as usual, I was still able to take the boys to their swim classes on Saturday - it just takes a bit more out of me even if it is just for a short while.  Now that the swimming pool is open early, it is a lot of fun to watch Liam jumping around in the water, tiring himself out just before his class.  Lucas is usually eating his snack since he was at camp all week and got to play in the pool everyday. Next cycle will be a milestone, so looking forward to recovery week - Week 7!

This weekend I went to the library with what I thought was my funky hat, only to be asked by the librarian to remove it because it obscured my face, unless of course I have cancer.  Right.  Well I qualify.  So much for trying to go to the library and be somewhat incognito. Tuesday 12th July - Cycle 3 completed.  Didn't feel too bad the day of chemo and the day after, but went a bit downhill after that.  That has been fairly typical of the treatments so far. In the meantime, I've been trying to combat "chemo brain", by memorizing the phonetic alphabet (Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, etc.) It has also served a useful purpose since I'm on the phone so much leaving my contact information, medical claims, etc.  I just got tired of saying "A as in Apple". In the meantime, I am looking forward to recovery week, both for appetite, nausea and blood counts.

This week is recovery week in preparation for cycle 3 next week.  So what has the week been like? Fear factor increasing. You know, now that I'm over the diagnosis and the optimism of actively working on treatment, I start wondering, "If I don't have horrible side effects, does it mean that the drugs aren't working?" What about, "I don't feel anything changing, is it making a difference?" and most recently, "I've been infection free this past month, can I make it through the remaining 4 months?"  Naturally paranoia is also on the rise.Must. Keep. It. In. Check. Generally felt ok, and I know because I don't fall asleep sitting up at 8:00pm at night - that's my gauge.  Went in to work a couple of days, and those are usually long days, but I am very happy to go in when I am able to. I get a chance to have a conversation with my colleagues about...work and not other things. That's good for me, because that's what it's

I finally couldn't handle the constant hair fall, and had my head shaved - for my colleagues at work..err..surprise!  I think I've reached the point of I-really-don't-care-because-I-have-all-this-other-stuff-I'm-thinking-about. Spent the weekend with family in town and did a lot of resting.  Did not get curry goat, but did get some home cooking (red beans and rice, stewed chicken, macaroni pie). So..did you ever talk to the kids about what you have? Well, the way that was handled was typical for the way we deal with the kids - if we don't make an issue out of it, they won't.  Lucas is 9 and will soon be 10, he is not an introspective child, you know, the kind who wonders "Will I get cancer too?"  He is not that way at all. The conversation happened while we were walking down Main Street in Fredericksburg.  G and Lucas were talking about somebody who was bald, and G seizing the opportunity told him that I might be going bald too, because of the me

And here are my pictures from Fredericksburg! A bit different than you may have expected. We walked around the National Museum of the Pacific, but hardly had the chance to look in much detail (antsy 3-year old took care of that).   My husband's conclusion was while there may be some things that are German (like on the menu), some are definitely not.  But perhaps they were when the Fredericksburg immigrants moved there?  Immigrants do cling to what they know and bring those with them, while their home country evolves. Anyways, we had fun walking around and relaxing.  My dad didn't get a chance to do too much (G and I took the time to run away and put my cousin in charge of the boys and my dad).  So we had a break.  We had plans to do more sight-seeing on our way back, but we (me and G) were too tired to try. Tuesday 28th June : Cycle 2.  After checking my blood counts, I was able to get cycle 2 - Yaay!  My appointment was 9:30 am, and I got there are 9:15. Unfortunately th

I didn't expect to have such a delay in posting out, but thankfully, this week has been so boringly consistent, I didn't feel like I needed 2 updates.  I even felt well enough to go to work Mon, Wed-Fri! Sunday June 19 : Happy Father's Day!  Unfortunately, I had been somewhat pre-occupied so I didn't actually get any presents for the daddies at my house this year :( .  I took the kids and Grandpa to a playdate with friends on Sunday morning.  I felt ok, but by the time I got home, it was time for me to have a bit of a relax. Tuesday 21 June : Follow up visit with the nurse.  My mouth is starting to get irritated, so I have to use a baking soda solution rinse religiously before my mouth is so sore I can't eat.  My white blood count is terribly low, so I hope that the booster shot I got to help with that kicks in before my treatment next Tuesday.  That afternoon I went wig-shopping with a friend (thanks Patti!). It was fun, but the combination of the nurse's

This post is my one rant to looking back (I've been told by my doctors not to), but I've justified it to myself by deciding if it makes one person make a different choice, then that's fine with me.  So now that I know what I know, what do I wish? I wish I understood that when a mammogram comes back negative, it does not necessarily mean that they examined all the tissue and they were able to see clearly that nothing was there (a true negative). It could also mean, they've looked and they cannot distinguish normal from tumour tissue (inconclusive).  So ladies, when the radiologist tells you "Ma'am you've got dense breasts", know that it means they can't see a darned thing. If you think something is going wrong, press for an alternative diagnostic tool or monitor yourself more closely in the coming months knowing that the mammogram you just had that said negative, really said, "We don't know".  Oh..and enlist the aid of a specialist

Two days after my  chemo, and still a bit tired, somewhat queasy and drinking water at every turn  - apparently now that they have the nausea issue somewhat licked, dehydration is a big deal.  G has said he doesn't want to have to drive me to the hospital to get 3 bags of fluids so I am trying to help in this regard. Thursday 16 June :  Felt not quite myself. Brief surge of energy in the morning then tired and lack of appetite for the day.  Had to take a nap in the afternoon.  Some chills, but still able to move around and do little things. Friday 17 June :  Repeat of Thursday.  I feel quite drained of energy, much like a balloon that's been popped.  No interest in watching TV, at least, not any show that has a plot.  Interestingly enough, while I am not so sick that I cannot do anything, I feel lethargy set in. It is hard to get motivated to do stuff.  Hopefully that will return with my appetite. Saturday 18 June: Feel a bit better. Took a spin to the grocery with my Da

So when last I posted, it was the weekend we told my dad about my diagnosis. Good grief, that was just last Saturday! Sunday 12th June : Told my brother and his wife the news.  We also planned to go out for brunch since my dad was in town, so we did that, after we all went for hair cuts (mine shocked the kids a bit).  They are not sure they like it.  That evening, a friend of ours was celebrating a milestone birthday, so we did go out and tried to forget about the week ahead, and enjoy some time with friends. Monday 13th June : No food - surgery Monday morning to insert a port-a-cath. This is new technology where they setup a catheter directly to the large vein under your collarbone to allow for easy access to do the chemo infusions (since it is very hard to do an IV each time). It remains under the skin so the nurses can access it each time.  As soon as I was sufficiently recovered, we headed off to do an Echo cardiogram (since the chemo drugs could affect the heart - added bonus)

For those of you who don't already know, I was recently diagnosed with Stage III breast cancer (last week).  The stage diagnosed was a big blow to us, but we (me and my family) are looking forward to successfully completing the treatments and being cancer-free - at least whatever that means to any survivor. I'll be using this blog to keep track of what's happening and you'll see in the title "Week" in some form or fashion. If you don't, then the post is going to be about some random topic that interests me for example, the sheer insanity of some parents who have 5 kids. It is also interesting to note that if I had any doubt I'd run out of topics to blog about, one has presented itself. To begin- what is the Week 1 reference? I consider Week 1 the week I received the confirmation from the doctor that I was positive for cancer. Here is what had happened before that (and I put in some detail because friends and family who know have asked me this. Fr

Well I'll tell you - shoes. For any family managing on one salary (or even two), there isn't usually any budgetary leeway for frivolous purchases like shoes.  Which I can now afford to buy.  But seriously, what has going back to work been like? I was at home for about 2 1/2 years, so now the entire family has to make the adjustment back to work with me. Sticking to the schedule, mapping out school holidays weeks in advance, planning the rotation of parent duty, ensuring I have remote access so I can work from home, transition to full-time daycare and after-school care, etc. Here is my experience. Exhaustion Yes.  No doubt about it.  The share pace of having a full morning (getting kids out of the house) and then having to focus on work and then come back to the kids and get ready for the next day.  Exhausting.  Mentally and physically. No energy or reserves for friends, books or blogs.  Just put the TV on please. Insomnia Surprised? Maybe not so much?  We

When I started writing this post, I had no clue what age was referred to in the phrase "women of a certain age". My thinking was that if I began viewing myself as a woman of a certain age, then in all likelihood, that was what I was.  It amused me to put as the heading of my post the French phrase, although what I mean is the English version. (If you're confused but interested, read this: http://www.nytimes.com/1995/a-woman-of-a-certain-age ) So what has brought me to this sad but inevitable slide of time? My weight.  (Big shocker I'm sure.) There was a time when I ate pretty much what I wanted and stayed within a certain weight range.  That time is no more. It pains me to admit that in the last 4 years or so, my metabolism has slowed so the same food is causing somewhat unattractive results on my petite frame. Throughout my adult life I have resisted any semblance of dieting, trying to eat well, have junk in moderation and get exercise as best I can. Now, as of

But I suspect I will be forced to adopt.  Here are just two reasons why. Imagine the scene. I sit down at my computer just before bed, just in case there is an email from Lucas' school about something I should know about. Look - a note about school conferences, emailed from Lucas' teacher 1:23 pm : "Early spots available", that is, more convenient spots available. Look - a note about school conferences, emailed from Lucas' teacher 1:35 pm: "All early spots filled." I know these parents are NOT sitting around waiting to get school communications, and suddenly I am confronted by the thought that perhaps not having a smartphone has become a liability.  Do the ones with the most advanced technology have an advantage over me (at least of choice)? The fact that my phone is really just a phone is a problem, although I do have the ability to send and receive texts.  However, this texting comes at an exorbitant rate since my phone is not designed to send

Considering how much how I love reading I am a little stunned (little?), that I haven't really made more of one of my favourite topics - books. The pictures below just show a few of what my 9-year old is reading now and has been reading over the last two years. I don't know if you can tell, but we love the series!  Bailey School Kids, Magic Tree House, Boxcar Children, Magic School Bus, How to Train your Dragon, Lightning Thief, Mysterious Benedict Society, Inkheart, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, anything Star Wars - plus assorted stories I've been trying to get him to read.  We've mutually agreed that since some of the later Harry Potter books are a bit dark, he doesn't need to get into those just yet. We are so blessed that Lucas loves to read, we hope we can continue to feed his love of reading, for ideas and for entertainment. At the same time, who knows what he is learning or remembering what he reads! And while the books we get for Lucas are