Cancer Survivor, writing about Health and Fitness as you age

After I see a movie, I've gotten into the habit of going to You T ube for interviews with the cast and behind-the-scenes videos that may be posted there. I thought I'd   share a few fun comments I saw on some of the interviews/videos that I've loo ked at recently : On Jason Statham (Transporter 1,2, 3; Safe, Crank 1,2 3) Why does Jason Statham need a bodyguard? (And if you don't know why that is funny, check this out Jason Statham-Transporter3 Fight Scene . If that does not convince you, you can also see this Jason Statham-Transporter3 Fight Scene . Did I mention he manages to strip in his fight scenes?) On an interview with Tom Hiddleston and Robert Downey Jr . (The Avengers) I think they're trying to see who can outflirt who. The bastards, causing ovary explosions and nosebleeds all up in this youtube. About Alex Clare ( Too Close ) His voice alone could kick chuck norris' ass in a fight. I freely admit to my You T ube addiction!

I had read  a blog post by someone on one of the cancer blogs I follow who described the, "Now what?" much more eloquently than I could. I've been trying to find it, but can't, unfortunately. In it she described the time when the initial fuss is over  - the shock of the diagnosis, there is no chemo, no radiation, no surgery to speak of. But at the same time, as a survivor, it is still very much in the forefront of your mind, and you are still living with the effects of cancer and the treatment. While not whining or complaining, she accurately described how I feel, which is, even though I may not be in active treatment, I am still living with cancer. And how has that changed me? I find myself behaving a bit differently than I used to - I wear more makeup now, and nice clothes. I don't dress down as often as I used to - for some reason it is important I look good. Must be my way of saying, " You take that cancer!" I don't know if my brain chemistr

Today is my mother's birthday - or it would have been if she was still alive. She died 10 years ago this year of breast cancer - that seems like such a long, long time. I thought I'd remember her through some pictures - one  for each year she's been gone. And I'll share the link to my best remembrance of her: Khabi Khabie Mere Dil Mein I don't have many pictures of my mom and me, but these are just a couple I found (graduation pictures)  I love the picture of my mom and the flowers, so I am repeating this picture. I am glad she was able to travel a bit before she died - on the left, here she is at the Eiffel Tower and below, Madame Tussaud's in London. I love you Mo.

My husband's book shelf - all non-fiction, and I didn't even include the economic treatises he favours.  And then there's my bookshelf

I had a bilateral mastectomy. It is still not easy to look at the scars, but I am here and I am still able to enjoy time with my loved ones. Today I am taking the day off to be with my special guy - G. I thought I'd mix it up with a little tag cloud of what its been like in the year since.                                                   

My hubby has a birthday this month and I just wanted to tell him "Happy Birthday" and  to thank him for being the head of our household. In every way. Here he is with our little men after LegoFest in Austin recently.

Every now and then I get the urge to write about something totally random and this is one such time. I thought I could educate my non-Trini friends on the very versatile "ent". To illustrate its use, I have elected to use a couple of lines from the 2011 movie "Thor" featuring an exchange between the gatekeeper of Asgard, Heimdall, and Odin's son Loki (brother to Thor). Loki: "Did Odin ever fear you?" Heimdall: "No." Loki: "And Why is that?" Heimdall: "Because he is my king and I am sworn to obey him." Loki: "He WAS your king and you are sworn to obey me now... yes ?" Heimdall: "Yes." In this exchange, Loki's response (underlined yes) can be replaced by "ent?" So a Trini would say:  "He was your king and now you ha' to obey me, ent?" OR alternatively "Ent he WAS your king but now you ha' to obey me?" But Heimdall's final response of "Yes"

So, we (my husband and  I) are officially no longer traveling on one airline in particular and I had to figure out what to do with my expiring miles. Unfortunately, they didn't qualify to donate to "Make a Wish Foundation", so I used them up getting subscriptions to a bunch of magazines. It started out pretty ok.   With work and all, I started to fall behind.  My stack of unread magazines started to grow...hmmm And then I get this in the mail - WTF??!

Lucas had his first flag football practice this week, and I picked him up afterwards. I got out of the car and sat on the field to see/hear better what was going on. It went something like this. Coach : " I need my Offense 1 to line up !" No action. Coach : " Can my Offense 1 boys line up here right now?!" One boy stands in the line, the other kids are milling around. Picture it. Coach : "IF THE 8 BOYS I JUST LINED UP DON'T KNOW WHO THEY ARE, WE'LL HAVE A PROBLEM!" The boys start nudging each other to figure out who was in Offense 1 and who was in Offense 2. Boy 1: "Does anybody else smell bar-b-que?" Me: Stifling giggles. Coach gives them some instructions, along the lines of don't chase the football, look for the players. They execute the play, all the kids chase the ball. Coach : "What did I tell you to do?" Boys: "Don't chase the ball." Coach : "So why did you do it?" Bo

I took the boys to the swimming pool recently. Lucas had already changed and I decided to change out of my wet swimsuit at the last minute and joined my younger son in the changing room. I was about to whip off my swimsuit top when I remembered...wait, he hasn't seen my mastectomy scars. I can't actually let him see me. He was in the middle of speaking to me, so I turned slightly so my back was to him and then he edged around so that he was facing me again to continue speaking. So I turned slightly again and again he moved around so he was speaking directly to me, to my face. I eventually stopped and just listenend to him and changed after I let him out of the changing room.  Sometimes I forget everything that's happened in the past year, but then I am reminded in small ways.

Ok, so Lucas has swim on Tuesday so I have to remember to pack his swim stuff. I hope he brings back his goggles - he always loses those things. And that's expensive. When does Liam have swim again? Ok, he has splash day in school, I have to remember to pack his stuff- he hates it when he is the only one who does not have his stuff. Oh yes, and he needs a towel, but Lucas doesn't. Let me see, so G has a dinner with a colleague this Wednesday, so I am in charge - ok, I think book club is the following Wednesday, so I am ok. I will send G an invitation to his work email, so he knows not to schedule anything at that time. I have to put Liam's annual checkup on the calendar and the sitter will have to take them to the dentist. She can do that after school next week. I have to remind her about that. Friday Liam has camp day, we have to get out the sleeping bag so he can take it to school, ok I'll put a note on the table so I don't forget. When is my cancer supp

Yesterday was one year since my diagnosis. I've learnt many things about myself, my friends and my family and I continue to do so. What a year it has been and I am grateful to still be around to blog about it. The beginning

I've said in my book review of the Keys to the Kingdom series by Garth Nix, that the books are complex in my opinion, but I thought that perhaps I have not truly done the books justice. This is me remedying the situation and explaining myself more completely. Background:  The story is about a boy, Arthur, who is given a key by a mysterious stranger who appears to him just as he is about to die. Unbeknownst to Arthur, the situation has been manipulated by the first of seven parts of the will left by the mysterious Architect. The key gives Arthur strength and he becomes the Rightful Heir to the will and the keys. The will was separated into 7 different parts, each held by a trustee together with a key, but they did not honour the Architect's wishes. "The will must be done" Why are these books so complex? Well if that background wasn't enough to make your head spin, I'll try and clarify.  Part of it is my expectation of what the author will do to a charact

But first a note about this post -  I've written it in Trini English. I was inspired by a colleague who heard me speaking to someone from Trinidad in the office one day, and said that he didn't know I had an accent. Well at least he didn't say that he didn't know I could speak a whole other language! But on to the post. So when ah firs' decide to get on Facebook, ah figah is only meh family ah go connect to. So ah was tinkin' dat it go be ah few people, no big deal. So ah join and ah start to keep in contac' wid meh mother's side ah de family. Well, ah see meh Dad's side too, so of course ah have to connec' to dem too. But den wat about meh friends? Ah cyah say no to dem neither. And den I see almost meh whole secondary school classmates - wuh ah go do eh? Ah ha to "fren" dem... So now, ah reach up to 93 frens and family. Ah have Mother side, daddy side, meh St. Louis friends, meh Trini friends and classmates, meh Austin friends,

The kind that noone wants to sign up for, get selected for or  belong to The kind where the membership is for life The kind where the entry requirements are demanding The kind where the initiation rituals are brutal and impact you for the rest of your life The kind where you have our own language like NED and DCIS The kind where you can ask any question and get an answer, no matter how gross or intimate The kind  that is so exclusive that  non-members may not really understand what the fuss is about The kind where birthdays and anniversaries have extra special meaning The kind that has embraced the green smoothie like you wouldn't believe The kind that stands together

When I unveiled my new short 'do, some people made the comment that I reminded them of someone. So I thought I'd post something out there to get the ideas going. Now imagine me emerging from the surf, looking beautiful and knowing just how to use the knife at my hand. Not to mention getting ready for an exchange with Pierce Brosnan. It's quite flattering to have some people say that I resemble Halle Berry even if it is only for the hair! I am totally rocking that orange bikini! Perhaps I can pass as Rooney Mara? I am not sure my haircut is vicious enough, although I did try and enhance the look with the drawn-in nose and lip rings. I would not mind at all being compared to Audrey Hepburn - a very classy lady. But aside from the obvious differences,  I think my hair is a little too long now and definitely too curly. I would have put up the pictures of these ladies side-by-side with mine, but wasn't sure I could do that. Anyways, not sure this will help,

But first a little background. My husband has a men's group that he meets with once a week and they are a fan of John Eldredge . They listen to the cd or podcast and discuss relationships, faith, etc. But they depend on my husband to provide the playing device. This is an email he sent out a short while ago: " Brothers, Many moons ago, in an age before touch screens, Jimmy Johns single-sandwich delivery, and bank bailouts, Jeff [boss]  gave me a tiny iPod as a birthday gift. It was a kinder, gentler time then.   I have enjoyed using my square little buddy nearly every day since then. But now it is time for that tiny indestructible purveyor of sound to live on to serve our Band of Brothers, so that we may hear the messages of John Eldredge on Tuesday mornings, whether I’m there or not (or late), and independent of Chris’s [friend] laptop being agreeable to playing a CD, or not. I will place the valiant little iPod into its white Bose cradle so that we may enjoy it toget

A sure sign that things are getting back to normal is the inevitable focus on things outside of myself - but perhaps not so far outside myself. I was thinking again how hard it is to live up to my own expectations of what it is to be a good parent. It would be a relief to take the easy path, but if there is something I don't think is a good thing for my kids, it is very hard to allow them to do it, eat it, have it etc. even though it would make life easy for me. It results in quite a bit of internal conflict I can tell you. But enough of that. I wanted to give a quick update on how I am feeling these days, and I have to say that while I am doing better I am shocked by how much my irradiated side is still a problem. The whole area feels very tight still and there are still sore spots. This is after 3 months since my last radiation treatment. I still have one spot that will get red if I am not careful (that is, can't touch , or move the skin around to stretch it or help with b

This is what I was wearing tonight (Lucas took a picture of me and my pyjamas with my phone - hardly flattering). I asked my 4-year old, "What would you like to read?" "I'd like to read you Mama." And so we began. Balloon, doughnut, wheels, hula-hoop, rings, earrings, eyes, glasses, binoculars, light bulbs, balls, the center of a flower, bubbles, circles, lamp shade (base)...you get the idea. The simple joys of an imagination. Liam enjoyed it immensely.

This will be my last "Cancer by the Numbers" post. The first three are here: Cancer by the Numbers 3 of 4: Risk Cancer by the Numbers 2 of 4: That grocery bill Cancer by the Numbers 1 of 4: Those blood counts I don't recall seeing the financial cost of cancer anywhere so I thought I'd just share what I know from my own experience on the quantifiable cost of cancer., since it is practically impossible to judge all the other costs of cancer (the emotional toll, the ongoing physical and psychological, the opportunity cost etc.). I thought I'd throw some data at you, like I like to do. But first a few notes: The numbers are based on what was billed to the insurance.  The % represents the % that the insurance actually paid based on their negotiated rates with the providers. These amounts excludes our deductible (we had a high-deductible plan), so once we paid up, everything was covered at 100%. Without insurance this is bankruptcy for sure.   ForBLog .

Back in November I talked a little bit about  the fact that I didn't feel like I had time to come to terms with my cancer diagnosis and everything that has happened since. This week I remedied that by taking a week off - a week I promised myself back then. My dear husband has allowed me time off away from everyone and I am here at a resort about 1 1/2 hours away from home, alone. Without husband. Without KIDS!! This is my think time and my no responsibility time. I don't have to be anywhere or do anything. I don't have to explain myself if I wanted to sleep in or go back to bed after breakfast. If I felt like watching TV until 2:00am, I could (I haven't). I thought it would be entertaining to share the less serious aspects of my stay here: I had buffet breakfast the first morning of my stay. One look at the bill and I drove straight to the nearest grocery. Bought some food items costing about 4 buffet breakfasts , except I can eat breakfast, lunch and dinner fo

I wanted to make a short post to my boys, all of them, about them. To my biggest boy, my husband. I think I owe you a month of Sundays of video games, and I promise you, when I am better you can collect on those IOUs any time you want. I love you: for your patience for your understanding for your flexibility despite the latest curve ball for your positive outlook for your support in so many ways for not asking more of me than I am able and asking so little for perspective for stepping up like a man - the man I wanted to marry and still do and for the way you are. To my little boys, who have shown me so much love. The smallest, my cherub, is the one who will hug my leg and kiss me and remind me why I have to stay strong. My big son will try me but in ways I am only beginning to understand, he shows me his love and his fears. He is a wonderful big brother to the little one (albeit rough at times), but when I need him to be the man of the house - he rises to the challenge

And I don't mean the top 5 things I like about shopping for a swimsuit. Trying to get a bathing suit is a most frustrating shopping experience for most women. It is especially hard for me this year since I don't quite have the same shape that I used to. Here's my top 5 list of swim suit criteria: Does not require extensive grooming procedures prior to wear. Does not stick up anywhere it shouldn't. Not easy to pull down or aside - very necessary when playing and fighting the boys in the pool. That leaves out strapless swimsuits and anything with thin straps. Offers appropriate concealment and camouflage where necessary. Does not look like a child's swimsuit nor a teen's. So now that I review my list, I am wondering why I just don't put "grandmother swimsuit" here, or is that just me?

I've done 2 other "Cancer by the Numbers" posts, the first was about blood counts , the second about my grocery bill.  Why am I doing a post on risk? First it is to share general information but it is also to let my friends and family have some understanding of where I am now that I've completed treatment. My standard answer to what's happening is that I've completed my last treatment (radiation), and now I wait. This post is about understanding the likelihood of me waiting in vain (desired outcome). Risk of getting cancer. The chance of a woman having invasive breast cancer some time during her life is a little less 1 in 8.  (1) The chance of dying from breast cancer is about 1 in 36 and death rates are declining. (1) What increases your chances of getting cancer? Being female. It is 100 times more common for females than for males (1) . This means that my nieces have a higher risk for breast cancer than my sons do, even though the heredit

"Do you know how much I love you?" "Yes Mama, infinity times a thousand." "Yes I do." "Infinity is a very big number. Infinity goes on forever...it doesn't end." No commentary required.

(Yes, a more adult slant in my title.)  Having a conversation with someone who has recently been diagnosed with cancer can be a bit tricky to negotiate as you try to figure out if to ask questions and how much to ask. So I thought I'd weigh in on what you may want to think twice before saying. "People don't die of breast cancer any more, do they?" Speaks for itself. Yes, approximately 13% of women diagnosed with breast cancer in 2011 will die. (1) "There's a cure for that isn't there?" Not really, although some women will go into remission (cancer responds completely or partially to treatment), and after a number of years of no signs or symptoms, someone may be considered "cured". Any cancer that occurs after that time is considered new. "Someone always has it worse" While that may be true, I didn't really find it uplifting to hear about horror stories. In my delicate frame of mind I found positive stories more he

(This is a short post since I just started back at work this week.) I refer to my current hair style as the "New York look" for no particular reason, and while everyone has commented on how good short hair looks on me, my husband's comment was, "I bet they were all women". That had me thinking. Both males and females have said good things (perhaps they were being kind), but it did remind me of a comment a friend had made many years ago. He said that the short-haired girls may be the ones you date, but the one you bring home has long hair. Hmmm.

***I am  not a doctor. This is NOT medical advice. This is NOT a definitive statement on how cancer works  *** There is much being written now about the link between diet and cancer. I recently read, "Foods to Fight Cancer" by  Dr. Richard Beliveau and Dr. Denis Gringras (cancer researchers - see my book review). According to the authors, one of the risk factors for cancer is poor diet (up to 30%), that is, about one-third of all cancers may be linked to diet. They talk about what research exists that shows eating certain foods help fight cancer. (I've included my interpreted summary in a table below). The bottom line is to eat a healthy diet that is rich in fruits and vegetables. It is interesting to note that newer cancer drugs target one of the two ways cancer works, and mimic the effects of fruit and vegetables. How cancer works: But first a quick overview of these two basic ideas (as explained by the authors): 1. Apoptosis. Cancer cells don't "commi

Yes, that's right. This past week I completed #33 of #33 daily radiation cycles. I can hardly believe it. Next stop reconstruction, but not for months yet. Thanks again to our friends and family who have made such a difference in our lives. I feel that you were with us through this whole time. I am ecstatic at having completed my treatment plan. However I, like many other cancer patients who have completed their treatments, feel unsure about the future. This past week has seen my sleep get all messed up again. I still have to assess the enormity of the past 8 months on my life, but that is on the agenda. Mentally & emotionally- somewhat messed up. Physically-getting stronger every day and healing with every day that goes by. Round 1: TheNewMe-1, Cancer-0. While I certainly hope and pray there is no next round, I am waiting. But not in the sense of sitting by the phone waiting for it to ring. More like going about my life so that when or if that phone ever rings, I&#

It has occurred to me that very frequently life allows us to show our true selves and exactly what we are capable of, if we are sufficiently motivated. And what brought me to such profound thoughts? Well, I was told by the nurse that I need to soak in an astringent solution and use a special cream 4 times/day to help my irradiated skin. If it gets too damaged, they will have to stop my treatments (No way in hell!!) This process takes about 45 mins each time. So last week I found myself sitting in the car between appointments applying this solution to my skin (very surreptitiously), and then trying to let it air-dry discreetly, all the while pretending to read a book so nobody would approach my window to ask what was wrong.  You can imagine the scene. It reminded me of when my last child was a baby. I was so motivated to breast-feed even though I had gone back to work, I would pump in the car on the way to work. The drive time was just right and I would keep a shawl in the car aroun

I am well-equipped with war terminology, and able to make appropriate sounds. I am a good lieutenant and can follow orders...most times. I can build Legos (and change batteries on various battery-operated toys). I can trash-talk with my 10-year old. By trash talk I mean, "Prepare to be defeated!", "You will never defeat me!", "The adults will take you kids down!" This last was at my son's school game-day with parents. I wasn't joined by the other parents. I soon shut up. Apparently that kind of talk was not appreciated. I am not too shabby at Time Crisis . I allowed my 4-year old to watch The Princess Bride . All of the adults who recommended it neglected to inform me that they say son-of-a-bitch towards the end of the movie. Nice. I am pretty good at soccer, enough so my kids enjoy playing with me. I am slowly learning to temper discipline with moderate amounts of flexibility. It is a challenge for me. At times I have abandoned discipl